Category: COVID-19

Prolonged Complex Compassion Fatigue: An Outcome of Caring Deeply 

by Kay F. Klinkenborg, MA, Spiritual Companion, Retired RN, LMFT, Clinical Member AAMFT

I have a new phrase, “Prolonged Complex Compassion Fatigue”1 to describe our accumulated experiences as we enter the third year of a world pandemic. No one debates that it is/ has been a time of extraordinary stress from the COVID pandemic with persistent residual feelings of worn out, more tired consistently, restless and discouraged.  The words, COVID/ Pandemic Fatigue has shown up in various media forms in an attempt to describe our collective prolonged response.  COVID has challenged every social structure in our world. And it has impacted every person in the world.   

      The deaths from COVID are staggering and the tsunami leaves a wake of aching hearts with complicated grief, discouragement, fear of the future and much more. What medical health care workers, first responders and hospital/nursing home staff have experienced is beyond the scope of this article…they are traumatized with resulting PTSD…way beyond compassion fatigue. 

      What we are experiencing is individualized, but also collective.  I chose to call this experience ‘complex’ because it has multiple layers of impact. COVID-19 has exacerbated already-existing global issues of climate change, political unrest, and systemic injustice. There is an added existential worry/anxiety. A predictable outcome from caring and loving in a time of crisis.  We have done nothing wrong. Caring and loving is how we are designed by the Creator. But the prolonged intensity, unpredictability, isolation, constant adaptation and worrying about your own and other’s safety has a wearing impact.  It is because we have and do care that we are experiencing this phenomena.  No one is exempt.   

      Registered nurse Carla Joinson (1992) coined ‘compassion fatigue’ to describe a unique form of burnout that affected caregivers and resulted in a “loss of the ability to nurture.”2 This form of burnout was related to a variety of stressors, including long hours, heavy workload without any signs of potential time to rest and restore. 

      Dr. Charles Figley, PhD was the first professor (University of Florida) to lecture on trauma and mentioned the phrase ‘compassion fatigue’ as similar to ‘secondary traumatic stress syndrome (STS)’; resulting from over extended exposure to traumatic stresses of time in caring.  He also noted that it was similar to PTSD, but that it came through a secondary source…the patient.2   

     From 1995 to 2005 I conducted workshops for all levels of professionals in the caring fields on the topic “Compassion Fatigue”.  It also occurs in a time of disaster in dealing with multiple traumatized people in extenuating circumstances over a period of time…just like the last two years. Until now, the term has been limited to nurses, doctors, therapists, clergy: all professionals in care giving careers and care-givers of ill family members or friends.   

What are signs/symptoms of compassion fatigue? 

  • Feeling exhausted physically and psychologically. 
  • Feeling helpless, hopeless or powerless. 
  • Feeling irritable, angry, sad or numb. 
  • A sense of being detached or having decreased pleasure in activities.3 
  • Disrupted sleep, anxiety, headaches, stomach upset, irritability  
  • Decreased sense of purpose 
  • Self-contempt   
  • Difficulties with personal relationships4 

      I find we are experiencing an extraordinary unprecedented more complex form of compassion fatigue.  It is expanded because of the prolonged, unpredictable and unknown outcome of the pandemic and added existential worries.  The professional literature I have reviewed, local and national news stories and feature articles in newspapers and magazines are all reporting about this intense time of stress.  I add the following complex responses: 

Existential Worries  

  • Complicated grief because of isolation when loved ones are critical or dying 
  • Job security  
  • Up ended routine life schedules, always adapting, no ‘norm’ to reset which is unnerving   
  • Unpredictable health care availability, unprecedented medical care staff shortages 
  • US divisive politics (Note: this is experienced by Red and Blue constituents) 
  • World conflicts, potential new wars 
  • Starvation, droughts 
  • Loss of homes   
  • Natural disasters on the rise: fires, floods, tornadoes, tsunamis, etc. 
  • Violence and hate crimes on the rise around the world 
  • Climate change.  
  • This is not the end of the existential worry list.1 

More intense responses to prolonged complex compassion fatigue  

  • Malaise: a mind/spirit/ brain fatigue.  I can’t think my way through this.   
  • Finding ourselves alarmed that concentration capacity has decreased 
  • Unconsciously consumed with keeping up with news/ media; needing the most current statistics/stories; obsessed with Internet or Facebook 
  • Free-floating anxiety; especially when outside one’s home or in groups/shopping for necessities; keeping self and loved ones safe 
  • Depressed, feeling blue but unable to connect it to a specific reason 
  • Spiritual questioning:  “where is God in this?”; or even wondering if God exists or is present. 
  • “The issues are so big, I have no idea where to start, self-care is slacking, demotivated, can’t push myself to do what I know to do.” 
  • “I am one person, no way can I impact these big social issues.”1 

Exhausted!  Bone tired!  Deep chronic fatigue that a week off doesn’t resolve. And in our retirement community I often hear:  “this is not how I intended to spend the last good physical capable years of my life.”  This isn’t the only age group to lose some dreams.  We have all lost some dreams.  

     In a recent article: “Mental Health Therapists Worried About America”5, the research of 1, 320 therapists across the US, found that anxiety and depression are significantly on the rise and the most frequent reason to seek help. The rise in needs for counselors was even across Red and Blue states.5 

     Rise in relationship issues: couples have too much together time…no space to breath and do self-care; financial stresses are increasing couple difficulties; substance use/abuse on rise; arguing more; children at home doing school. Political disagreements increasing major stress for immediate and extended family members. One in four providers said suicidal thoughts were among the top reasons for clients reaching out for help.5 

     Every major news outlet and newspapers have published articles of concern about the mental well-being of our children and youth.  How has this impacted their learning, their social skills or view of the world?   

     Suicide rates are on the rise of young people from age 11-22 years of age.5   One 10 year old boy told his therapist he was having “sad panic mode” in describing being overwhelmed.5    

      Just reading this article is likely triggering one or more of the above stress responses.  So what is one to do to cope with Prolonged Complex Compassion Fatigue? 

      Back to the basics is a trite statement.  Digging deeper for coping skills, exploring new coping strategies are options. But what does that mean? 

      I want to begin with one primary focus: developing a resilient focused mind set. How do begin to take care of ourselves with intention and practice to diminish the impact that will continue to come our way?  For as all reports indict: “this isn’t over yet.”  

RESILIENT FOCUSED MIND SET 

     Resilience is the capacity to recover from difficulties; toughness. The ability of a substance or object to spring back into shape; elasticity.8 Psychologists have found these skills can be learned.7   

  • YOU CAN DO THIS ONE HARD THING! 

    For I am convinced that neither death, nor life, nor angels, nor rulers, nor things present, nor things to come, nor powers, nor height, nor (bathos) the deep, nor anything else in all creation, will be able to separate us from the love of God in Christ Jesus our Lord. Romans 8: 38-39 NRSV. 

     I do not intend to be glib, but…you have used a lot of unidentified positive skills these first two years of pandemic and existential worries.  Make a list of ‘how did you do this?’  You did make good choices.  Learned to do different from some choices, but you kept moving forward.  Creation is a continual evolution…we are continuing to evolve as people.   If we did the last two years, we can do the years ahead of us too. Yes, its hard but there have never been any promises that life would be easy.  

  • YOU ARE NOT ALONE IN THIS! 

   The Bible has 365 separate quotes of: “fear not for I am with you.”  If it is that frequent, obviously history notes leaning on God (Divine) has proven to be of  comfort and to own we are not alone.  In addition, three characteristics that remind us of our competency. “For God hath not given us the spirit of fear; but of power, and of love, and of a sound mind.” 2 Timothy 1:7. 

The Quran shares similar beliefs: “My mercy encompasses all things.   

    [Quran] 7:156.  “So verily, with this hardship, there is relief. [Quran 94:5] 

  • YOU COME LEARNING HOW TO DO THIS! 

     Resilience requires this steadiness of mind and willingness to ‘be with’ suffering rather than turning away from it.9  As Poet Robert Frost said, “The best way out is always through.”9  We aren’t supposed to have all the answers about how to adapt to crises. This didn’t come with a manual. Paul, the Apostle wrote: “I can do all things through Christ which strengtheneth me.” Philippians 4:13  NRSV. 

      Extend grace to yourself!  Only then can you extend grace to others.  You don’t have to know the future. You don’t have to have all the answers.  Come with an open mind and heart to find a more peaceful way to be.  

  • REASONABLE EXPECTATIONS 

     “Hope is not the conviction that something will turn out well but the certainty that something makes sense, regardless of how it turns out.”6  Letting go of our expectations..’what should be’ compared to ‘what is’, wastes a lot of mental energy. Obsessing about facts we can’t change is sitting in ‘what should be’. ‘What is’ gives you choices about how to spend your time; what to read, etc. This is healthy movement and not being frozen or immobilized.  

      Dr. Michael Yapko cautions about ‘global thinking’: generalizing one thing to all things.7  An example: one rapid test clinic for COVID wasn’t using certified testing equipment; thus all clinics aren’t using certified testing equipment. Dangerous thinking pattern when you pause to contemplate this type of generalization. People who do a lot of ‘global thinking’ have a high predictability of depression according to Yapko.  

      We live in an uncertain unpredictable time. Learning to ‘go with the flow’ and trust that we can respond with wise choices can be a powerful confidence builder. 

  • WHAT AM I TO LEARN FROM THIS?    

                   Back to Havel’s quote: “Hope is not the conviction that something will         turn out well but the certainty that something makes sense, regardless of how it turns out.”6  You can’t learn from the present, if you are locked into focus on the past.7   Whether it is locked in your childhood pain, or betrayal as an adult, it is a waste of your spiritual and mental energy to ruminate on the past.  In this moment, this time this space: What are you to learn? 

      Who are you going to chose to be…not who was I?  Step into the future.   

The old gospel hymn: “We’ve Come This Far By Faith Leaning on the Lord,”  was a childhood favorite of mine.  It pulled me forward when I was  frightened; it pulled me through intense therapy to heal deep wounds; and it is pulling me forward to be engaged, productive and repeating my personal mantra:  “What return can I make?”   

     A resilient mind set is my responsibility; that is my choice. Each of us can practice and hone this skill set. Yes, we will ebb and flow in our moods and response to these continued stressors. I pray by the grace of God I will continue to learn from this scary unpredictable time in which I live.  This is resilience! 

1Klinkenborg, K.F. (Jan 24, 2022)  W.I.S.E. Steering Committee Retreat for Church of the Palms, Sun City, AZ.  (first use of term and defined).  

2 Compassion fatigue: toward a new understanding of the costs of caring. In Stamm BH 

      (Ed.): Secondary Traumatic Stress: Self-Care Issues for Clinicians, Researchers, and  

      Educators. Lutherville, MD: Sidran Press; 1995. 

https://www.dvm360.com/view/compassion-fatigue-and-burnout-history-definitions-and-assessment

3https://www.stress.org/military/for-practitionersleaders/compassion-fatigue 

4 https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/basics/compassion-fatigue 

5New York Times, Dec 17, 2022.  “Mental Health Therapists Worried About America.” 

6Havel, Vaclav: playwright, essayist, poet, former dissident and 1st President of the Czech Republic  (1936-2011). 

7Yapko, Michael. May 14, 2018. “Keys to Unlock Depression: Why Skills Work Better than Pills.”  Speech for Australian Psychology Society. 8Oxford Dictionary  

9Search Inside Yourself Research Institute:  https://siyli.org/compassion-resilience/ 

Why I need church (It’s not just the paycheck!)

by Rev. Deb Worley

For fifteen months–from March 2020 to June 2021, when the entire world was effectively shut down by the novel and mysterious and deadly Covid-19 virus–we worshiped online.

We wondered when we would be able to worship in person again. We wondered if we would be able to worship in person again. We wondered, if we were able to worship in person again, would we??

Would people come back? Or would people have realized there were other things to do on a Sunday morning? Better things? Easier things? More relaxing things? More entertaining things? More meaningful things? More relevant things??

When we began to worship in person again, on June 6, 2021, I felt strongly that worship had to be relevant. It had to connect with our Monday-Saturday lives; it had to speak into our daily living; it had to say something about real life.

And so for that Sunday, and for each Sunday since then, I have composed what I have come to call my “opening monologue.”

It’s not funny at all. I keep thinking perhaps we would draw bigger crowds if it were. If only I could somehow channel Jimmy Fallon, or Tina Fey, or Trevor Noah. Or even better, David Letterman! But alas, I am no stand-up comic.

I am, however, a person of deep faith. And I am convinced that the Gospel has the power to transform lives, and that those transformed lives have the power to change the world. Still. Now. Today.

I believe, deep in my soul, that the message of Christ is relevant, that an orientation toward faith makes life more meaningful, and that being part of a community of Spirit-seeking folks offers belonging and strength like nothing else does.

And still…each week I ask myself: why do I go to church? Why do I keep showing up? Why do I keep hoping others will show up? Do I really need church?…

Each week, as I prepare worship, I ask myself that question. And each week, I come down on the side of YES.

Here’s one example:

My “Opening Monologue” (January 23, 2022)

There’s a group of us who are participating in the weekly study group that has begun to read the Bible chronologically. It’s still just January, so we’re not very far along yet—we’ve just moved out of Genesis, as a matter of fact!

But wowee wow wow, are those people nasty! There is so much lying! And deceit! And manipulation! And conniving! And violence! And scheming! And sibling rivalry–my boys have got nothing on the 10 older brothers of Joseph!

It’s almost like, well, almost like the kinds of behavior going on in the world today! Lying…deceit…manipulation…conniving…violence…scheming…

I’ve been reminded that, sadly, these kinds of behaviors are not new.

They seem to be as old as the human race. Which is a little discouraging…

And…I’ve also been reminded that in spite of that, God has remained faithful! Amazing. Amazing!

We humans continue to lie and deceive and manipulate one another, and threaten and compete and inflict violence upon one another… And God continues to be faithful.

God continues to call us back to God. God continues to invite us into a different way of being. God continues to work in us and through us and–too often–in spite of us, to bring about that different way of being, a reality grounded in healing and wholeness and freedom! AND, most amazing of all: God continues to LOVE US!

Here is this place, I hope we can be reminded of the reality of God, in the midst of the reality of our not-so-pretty humanity.

Here in this place, I hope we can be reminded of the invitation God continues to extend to us, to participate in and work for God’s reality…

Here in this place, I hope we can be reminded of God’s faithfulness across generations, in spite of our coming and going in faith, our sometimes-hot and sometimes-cold and often-times-lukewarm faith…

Here in this place, I hope we can be reminded of God’s unwavering presence with us and all of humanity, even though we waver in our commitment and in our courage…

Here in this place, I hope we can be reminded of the goodness of God,

even with full awareness of how we humans have lied and cheated and manipulated and schemed our way through history…

It’s good to be reminded of the reality of God, and the faithfulness of God, and the goodness of God…”

That’s one reason why I need church.

Why do you?

Deb Worley

Thanking the Pandemic Preachers

by Dr. Kristina “Tina” Campbell

In many recovery communities, you hear the phrase “walk the talk,” illuminating the importance of impersonating, rather than pontificating, the guts of the ethical backbone of the program.  In religious circles, the same message is expressed: “Preach the Gospel always.  Use words only when necessary.” 

In my day-to-day life, there have been many profound preachers during the seemingly endless months of COVID isolation. 

Colleen is the woman at Fry’s who stands on her feet for hours on the unforgiving concrete floors to carefully check out our groceries. She never complains when I ask for paper bags, even though it requires her to bend over to fetch them. Colleen is well beyond retirement age and yet continues to be of essential service providing food to the huddled masses, embodying the words, “whoever comes to me will not be hungry.” 

A beloved friend goes to a Veterans Lodge where dead deer heads peer blankly from the walls, and she quietly donates blood. She doesn’t have a good word to say about organized religion, but faithfully shows up at the neighborhood Presbyterian Church Tuesdays at ten to silently sort through giant bags of donated clothes that will end up on the backs of frightened refugees stuck at the border.  Maybe she somehow heard the communion words of blood being shed and bodies being clothed. She doesn’t say. She just shows up. 

Every morning at 5 a.m. someone flings my newspaper to various locations on my driveway and in my plants. During the isolation of the pandemic, the paper became my morning coffee companion. Oddly, I especially enjoy reading the obituaries, because I like to see what brought joy to the life of the dearly departed. Behold, an angel has been sent before me, and she is flinging the news. 

The Post Office stayed open during the pandemic, and countless carriers delivered the mail. Sometimes there were cards and letters delivered that offered a sense of connection, encouragement, or support. On Fridays, my postal delivery people allow me to sneak under their chained barrier while they are still stuffing boxes, because they know I am eager to retrieve my People magazine. These faithful workers are kin to the Biblical bearers of glad tidings. 

COVID has been a long haul at my hospital. I observe the Starbucks stand where weary parents, paper-gowned medical staff and observant security staff line up to order the outrageously over-priced weirdly named drinks. Throughout COVID, underpaid staff kept this place of rare delight open, offering a small diversion from the intensity of illness and death. They are the magi offering their gifts. 

At this time of Thanksgiving, let us lift up these silent preachers who are walking the daily walk. Let us proclaim our gratitude to them for the contribution they make to our lives. A simple “thank you” can mean so much, and its absence can leave a wound. 

THANK YOU TO ALL OF THOSE WHO SILENTLY AND FAITHFULLY PROCLAIM THAT, EVEN IN THE MIDST OF A PANDEMIC, THERE IS GOOD NEWS.  PLEASE ACCEPT OUR HEARTFELT GRATITUDE. THANK YOU. 

Relational Ways of Being the Church for Post-Pandemic Times

by Rev. Kari Collins

Many of our local churches are weary. Many are struggling. We have long treated our local churches like transactions. How many members do we have? How many are in attendance each Sunday. Are all of the vacancies filled on our committees and ministries? How many children and youth do we have? How much is our budget? And we’ve limited our ministry by saying, “We’ve never done it that way,” or its corollary, “We’ve always done it this way.” But transactions are numbers, and the truth is, those numbers have been in decline for many of our churches for decades.  

And then the pandemic hit. Our in-person church stopped. Our society stopped. Our entire world stopped. And while many of our churches were able to pivot to online methods of worship and ministry, pandemic fatigue is real for so many of us! 

In a recent article titled, “They’re Not Coming Back,” Reverend Rob Dyer contends that even as we slowly reopen our churches, people are not coming back to the church, at least not at the same level of engagement as before…. nor will they. We have all been traumatized by this pandemic.  

So what do we do? How do we, our churches, reintroduce ourselves as a place that can tend to the wounds that this pandemic has opened in all of us? 

I believe we have a choice. We can continue to be transactional churches and see our numbers decline, now even more precipitously post-pandemic than before. 

Or, we can see this post-pandemic time as an opportunity to operate differently as church, an opportunity to transform lives in new ways.  

And it is in this opportunity that I find hope. This will require innovative change. And, to be honest, we don’t know what these changes might look like.  And this is where God comes in. 

Each and every one of us has gifts for ministry. If we work to develop and deepen our relationships with one another, we can seek to understand the life experiences and beliefs that shape who we are and how we are each Called to share our gifts and talents in the world. And we need to deepen our relationships with intention. Now I’m not talking about joining more committees or ministries, where we have meetings to attend and tasks to be done. Rather, I’m inviting us to be in intentional one-to-one relational conversations with each other, during which we listen for and draw out the Spirit abiding in one another. It was during an intentional one-to-one relational conversation that I began to discern my Call to parish ministry, as my conversation partner shared his stories about the justice work that he had done in the local church setting. 

And we have the opportunity to have one-to-one relational conversations with those who can’t or don’t or won’t come to a church building on Sunday mornings, and to listen for where Spirit abides in them. What they are longing for? And how can we, as church, partner with them to follow Jesus in new ways, ways that aren’t limited to bringing people into a church building on Sunday mornings? 

When we shift our churches from being transactional to being relational, Spirit can be at work. And when we let Spirit work, we can develop partners in ministry to help us to truly live the prophetic and revolutionary teachings of Jesus, to find new ways to be the hands and feet of Jesus in our community and in our world. The pandemic has given us the opportunity to grab onto change. 

Reverend Dyer concludes his article by saying, “The need for a major pivot is before us, and we know that God will provide for the times and places where we are found. Therefore, let us walk into this valley with eyes wide open, ready to step forward with intention, believing in the presence of the Good Shepherd, the proximity of green pastures, the provided meal amongst adversity, the anointing of our heads, the overflowing of our cups, and our place in the House of the Lord forever.” 

Let us follow the prophetic and revolutionary teachings of Jesus together, in deep relationship with one another, listening for where Spirit is alive in each and every one of us, and seeing in what new ways God is Calling us to Be the Church. 

Rev. Kari Collins (she/her/hers)  

  • Vice Moderator, Casas Adobes UCC, Tucson, AZ 
  • Minister of Stewardship and Philanthropy, Sixth Avenue UCC, Denver, CO 
  • Consultant to churches in the Rocky Mountain Conference UCC on ways to shift from a culture of scarcity in our churches to an expectation of abundance, inviting people to invest in ministry that transforms lives. 

Not Again…What Do We Do Now?

by Kay Klinkenborg, Church of the Palms UCC

Disappointed, angry, frustrated, discouraged, maybe even despair.  Here we are again with COVID cases rising.  We set our hopes and dreams on a different outcome and projected what our future for 2021 would hold.   But maybe, just maybe that is what creates our pain, of not accepting ‘reality’ as it is.   We had no guarantees, no promises, some stated hopes from the professional scientists. But we are in uncharted waters headed to a new land in which we haven’t lived before.  And we’re most certainly grieving that it hasn’t played out as we hoped.

Where does faith and hope fit in this current ‘reality’?  Right smack dab in the middle of it!  For if we allow ourselves to be projecting out front of ourselves as to what will be, we set up unrealistic expectations.  Faith is dealing with realistic realities, so we must practice realistic expectations for the months, possibly years ahead.

Our world prides itself that there are advanced countries with vast resources. But a fact of nature, Coronavirus, COVID has brought us to our knees. As has the ‘Red Alert of Climate Change’ announced this week by the UN report of climatic changes and predictions for the future.  But that is not the only pandemic happening in our world.  Disastrous weather events, fires, massive floods, hurricanes, earthquakes, famine, wars, racism, Afghanistan crisis, the rise of nationalism and white extremist groups in America and abroad.  Are we overwhelmed, YES and if we aren’t, we are numb or disconnected from reality.

So, what are the realistic expectations on which we need to focus?  I offer no panacea of actions, but I do offer life lessons that have brought me through tough times and documented by numerous others in memoirs and professional literature. 

First: we are not alone. Numerous scripture reminders of this truth comfort us.  Isaiah 43: 5 states: “Fear not for I am with you…” “FEAR NOT” is in the Bible 365 times.  Isn’t it intriguing to think that thousands of years ago people were leaning on those same words just as we need them today? And there is the profound gift of the Presence of the Divine in each of us, so we are here for each other.

Second: we don’t have to have all the answers.  Living with ‘unknowing’ is hard and stressful. But it is also a learned art in our spiritual journey.  Life doesn’t come with guarantees.  And if we are learning that for the first time…we must own our naivete.   We each come learning how to cope in new ways; how to be friends and present for each other.  We come learning that ‘ambiguity’, not knowing can be a personal place of growth in our faith journey.  In the book, The Wisdom of Not Knowing: Discovering A Life of Wonder by Embracing Uncertainty, Dr Estelle Frankel reminds us that “spiritual evolution doesn’t take place through inquiry…but meditating with complex questions.”   Sit with our questions…don’t be afraid of questions.   

Third: we can do this one hard thing!  Travel this journey, live with the unknown outcomes. Take one day at a time.  Believe in ourselves and the strength of God that underpins the core of who we are and lives within us.   We have all done hard things before we didn’t think we could do or find our way through. But we did. We are resilient!  We can remain resilient.   And tapping into our ingenuity and creativity and sharing that with one another is a miracle gift in time of struggle.   We can be a balm to others; we can allow others to be balm to us.

Fourth: we need to ask for what we need.  People can’t read our minds.  If we need a phone call or a visit with a safe vaccinated person and share a cup of tea, we need to speak up.  It is not a time to be shy.  Yes, some of us with underlying medical conditions must limit the size of groups in which we can participate; but we can still practice safe health measures.  And don’t forget our technology…phones and internet for some.  

Fifth: claim and practice our creativity that each of us can embody. Erich Fromm, in Man for Himself states: “Creativity requires the courage to let go of certainties.”  We have an opportunity to engage with the ‘extraordinary in the ordinary’ of our daily lives.  From the dishes we wash, the smell of clean laundry, the food we prepare.  Very mundane tasks we think; but Celtic spirituality teaches us these are the moments where the sacred insights and ‘ahh’ can pop open and bring delightful surprise. Creativity is like art…it is merely anything you do or produce or participate in that expresses who you are.  You don’t have to be a formal artist, it isn’t with paint, brush, or graphic pencils…but it can be.   One such experience was in a women’s group I led in Missouri; we had a share-our creativity-day.  Women brought home canned goods from their gardens; a term paper written for a college class; a pie they baked for a sick friend.  Crochet, knitting, quilt pieces, favorite recipes copied off to share. A letter of encouragement to their children. And the list went on.  Creativity expressing who they were and how they saw themselves in the moment.

“In Jewish Kabbalah tradition, creativity is also linked with the divine realm. All forms of creative expression is linked with divine nothingness, ayin.  According to Kabbalah, all wisdom, understanding, and knowledge flow from ayin.  Oft quoted is Job: 28:12:  ‘Wisdom emerges from nothingness [ayin}.’ “ Estelle Frankel, The Wisdom of Not Knowing; p 124.

What we fear about being stymied, bored, and restricted once again is we are about ‘nothing’; not able to do what we hoped for…again what are the realistic expectations?   

Sixth: take a serious look at the skills you brought forth at other times of struggles.  Lean back into what worked before.  Maybe it was prayer, quiet time alone, talk with a trusted friend, reading spiritual literature or the Bible.  Take a virtual walk with your computer in this time of heat waves…look up beautiful scenes and use your imagination to be in that place absorbing that beauty. Grab a favorite book or picture album off your shelf.  It can change a gloomy day into one of joy.  We all underestimate the skills we have used to survive in hard times.  I found that consistently with my clients and spiritual directees.  When I helped them begin to list ‘how did you do that?” they are astounded at the skills they brought forth to make things work.  We function so unconsciously many times, we don’t claim all that has taken place that reveals quite a remarkable coping individual. 

Seventh: it is not an abnormal reaction to these times to need to seek out professional help; even for a few sessions to talk with someone neutral. We are our own worst enemies in judging our coping skills as lacking.  Seek out a Spiritual Companion/Director or Counselor.  Don ‘t expect that any of us needs to go this alone.  It is a highly tense unexpected set of world circumstances; none of us has the map. But we can journey together, and support can make all the difference.

Eighth: don’t be afraid of reality.   Look this square in the face.  This won’t change tomorrow or the next day.  We must have realistic expectations…the hoped for, dreamed about end to this is not visible.  We must live in reality to be healthy and take adequate care of our bodies, minds, and souls.   Living out into the future is wasted energy; now I am not saying we don’t make plans…but let us learn to make plans to will require us to be fluid and flexible in these times.  Learning to ‘be in the moment like never before’ can become a mantra, a sustenance, a relief.

Nadia Bolz-Weber, ordained minister and public inspirational speaker wrote on her monthly e-letter a week ago: 

“Because actual reality is also the only place where actual joy is to be found. If joy is delayed until a preferred future comes about, we set ourselves up for despair. But if there is hope in THIS day. Joy in THIS reality. This life. This body. This heart, then certainly we can prevail.

We can. We will. We are.

Be gentle with yourselves right now.”  Nadia Bolz-Weber

I have no doubt we can continue on this hard journey, find our way, find joy where we least expect it, and experience a deeper faith and understanding of the Divine within us and others.  We can do this one hard thing:  look reality in the face, practice our faith, and be honest about our struggles on this unexpected tumultuous journey.

© Kay F. Klinkenborg, MA August 2021
Spiritual Director/Counselor
Retired RN, LMFT, Clinical Member AAMFT
(Assoc. for Marriage & Family Therapists)
Member Church of the Palm, Sun City, AZ

9/11 and COVID

by Dr. Kristina “Tina” Campbell

“We live in a city named after a great mythic bird who majestically rises with open wings out of a pile of smoldering ashes, and it is in this spirit of resilience that I record the religious community’s response to September 11, 2001.  Ultimately, September 11th will become a very personal experience for those of us who have conscious memory of an autumn day when acts of terrorism altered the course of human history and thought.  Historians will tell of the events of the day, including the political, military, and economic climate.  It is my desire to record the response of the faithful, much of which runs counter to the dominant cultural perspective. Throughout the ages, people of faith have raised a dissident voice, and it is this voice that is recorded in these pages.”  This is the opening paragraph of a document entitled Out of the Ashes:  The Faithful Respond to September 11, 2001, the result of a grant I received from the UCC National Office of Justice and Witness.  I felt it important to create an historical document of the faithful’s response to this life altering event, and to take special care to record the response of the Southwest Conference of the United Church of Christ.

Bernice Powell Jackson, Executive Minister for Justice and Witness Ministries for the United Church of Christ reminded us, “In a sermon at the Riverside Church in New York City exactly one year before his assassination, Dr. Martin Luther King, Jr. said these prophetic words: We can no longer afford to worship the god of hate or bow before the altar of retaliation.  The oceans of history are made turbulent by the ever-rising tides of hate…. If we do not want to act, we shall surely be dragged down the long, dark, and shameful corridors of time reserved for those who possess power without compassion, might without morality, and strength without sight.“

The United Church of Santa Fe borrowed words from the last homily of Archbishop Oscar Romero.  These words were spoken the day before he was assassinated in San Salvador in 1980: “All that we are and all that we do is in God’s hands.  What that means for us, my sisters and brothers, at this time is to pray very much, and to be very united with God.”

Edith Guffey, Associate General Minister of the United Church of Christ issued these words: “Although we are but one of the many expressions of who God is in our world, we are mindful of our call and our denomination’s rich heritage as peacemakers.”

Dr. John Herman preached at Desert Palm United Church of Christ in Tempe: “This is a dangerous time for our nation-not simply for us today, but for generations not even born.  We need great wisdom to avoid precipitating a bloodbath that could undermine our own national principles of equality and justice and which could soil our name for all history.  What we do need is authentic patriotism.”

The Reverend Ruthanne Cochran shares: “I have sadness within me for all the people whose lives are being changed, work destroyed, dreams shattered, and livelihoods uncertain.  We work a lifetime to create reality out of our dreams, and for reasons beyond our control, the dreams are sometimes shattered.  Whatever happens to the people in New York, Washington, and Pennsylvania, they cannot live in the ashes.  They have to rebuild and re-dream, rekindle our ashes of what might have been.  We have to rebuild, re-dream, rekindle our feelings and be open to God knocking at our hearts.  We can’t sit around in the ash.  We have to take some time to think about what has happened, and then we have to open our ears for another knock at our hearts.  It shall come!!”

COVID has presented communities of faith with many of the same challenges as 9/11, and I feel it is important to record the faithful’s response during the pandemic.  Our response will be measured far beyond the challenge of technology.  Some questions that might be addressed are:

How did we extend pastoral care to the COVID First Responders?

How did we extend prayerful support to our local hospitals?

How did we provide comfort to those who lost loved ones during COVID and were unable to gather for memorial services?

How did our preaching address the fear of illness and death?

What specific programs did we create to address the needs created by COVID?

How do we move forward in hope?

Dr. Campbell, UCC clergy, served as Associate Staff for Social Concerns for the Southwest Conference of the United Church of Christ at the time of 9/11, and served as a Staff Chaplain at Phoenix Children’s Hospital throughout the COVID pandemic.

What If One Word Could Say It?

by Kay F. Klinkenborg

What if one word could provide clarity for the wide range of emotions we have all felt during COVID-19 since March 2020? Try: languishing.  Dr. Adam Grant wrote an article: “There’s A Name for the Blah You’re Feeling:  It’s called Languishing” for the NY Times, April 19, 2021.

I have heard a wide range of emotions this year: anxiety, fear, empty, listless, depressed, trouble concentrating, and life without a defined direction to name a few. And there have been many sad experiences of loss and resulting grief of loved ones and friends. Also grief of the loss of our normal routines, limitations of what, how and when we could do our predictable routines.      

Grant notes that “we think about mental health on a spectrum from depression to flourishing… being the peak of wellbeing.”  Prior to COVID many have experienced or known someone close who experiences depression. When depressed you feel despondent, worthless, no energy to move forward. “Languishing is the neglected middle child of mental health” states Grant. One of Webster’s definitions: to lose vigor or vitality.

Remember acknowledging that you weren’t functioning at full capacity, but couldn’t say why? You had no overt symptoms or behaviors to indicate mental illness. I recall days of ‘trying to make myself focus.’ Maybe accomplishing one or two of five goals I would have normally set for the day. I have read other articles that comment that during COVID, people were struggling with the long-haul impact of restrictions and the unknown. 

Languishing is the void between depression and flourishing—an absence of wellbeing, but you don’t quite feel yourself either—your motivation is dulled, notes Grant. The potential risk of remaining in ‘languish’ is that one might not notice you are slipping toward depression. You might not be experiencing joy or delight and suddenly realize you haven’t felt that for some time. 

Say it aloud, languishing, name it. Grant writes that might be the first step to learning more about it; because we haven’t done many studies on languishing. “Languishing is common and shared.” And thus, is not an abnormal reaction. We have not been through a pandemic before.  

The professionals admit there is still a lot to learn about this term.

Grant proposes one of the first things to do in coping with languishing is to ‘be in the flow.’  Fr. Richard Rohr in his book, Divine Dance, writes in numerous chapters about the concept of “flow.” To be in the flow is the experience of trusting the moment and staying focused on the smallest of goals. Being present and not letting your mind wonder hither and yon. Don’t spend energy trying to figure out how to control the situation or others or debating solutions for the biggest of problems that professionals/ elected officials are set out to do. Take a deep breath and remember the Creator designed you, and lives in you and all of creation. Don’t go the judgmental path…go the path of discovery the smallest awes.

I find that spiritually to own languishing means I have to name it and experience it and claim that God is a verb in the midst of all that I am witnessing, hearing, and experiencing. Where is God in what I see today? Where is God in what I heard about today from others? Stay in the flow. We have not been alone in this pandemic; nor are we alone post-pandemic.

Second, set boundaries as to when you are not to be interrupted.  You need breathing space to rest and process all that has transpired…even…especially even now… as we see a ‘light at the end of the tunnel’ in America as more are vaccinated.  All processing doesn’t happen in the exact moment…when we can’t name what is happening. We need to bring some grace to ourselves and others for quite reflective time. A time for energy to be restored. Maybe it is a time when you read a novel, do some craft work, have a project. The important thing…it is your time with boundaries and no interruptions.

Third, pick small goals (Grant). This pandemic was a BIG LOSS. Maybe a short word game, one meaningful conversation with a trusted friend 1-2 times a week to own the gift of that friendship to you and to them. Maybe you color in an adult coloring book.  It doesn’t matter the goal…make it a small one. No one is here to judge you about how you spend your time or what you need to do to complete a goal that feels satisfying. 

One of the most important sentences in Grant’s article is: “Languishing is not merely in our heads…it’s in our circumstance.” You didn’t cause this…you aren’t making it worse. Many journalists, mental health professionals, and trauma psychologists remind us we are entering a post-pandemic reality. And with that will be some who have some Post Traumatic Stress Disorder for which they need to seek some professional health; particularly if they aren’t eating, can’t motivate themselves to get up, are isolating from others, and feel ‘blue’ beyond what they can manage. 

We can now begin with the lists above to address how the post-pandemic awareness of what languishing is and has been in our past 15 months. Give voice, name it, there is power in naming what is happening with you. Your courage to name it…will encourage others to name it too…and that empowers each of you to move forward with positive steps into more ‘thriving’ modes of living. 

Kay F. Klinkenborg © May 2021                                         

Church of the Palms

Kay is a Spiritual Director; Retired: RN, LMFT and Clinical Member AAMFT. She chairs the Life Long Learning Board at Church of the Palms, serves on the CARE TEAM, and the W.I.S.E. Steering Committee.         

The Other Pandemic

by Rev. John Indermark

Not long after I had pre-enrolled in seminary, my pastor gave an essay to me written by one of the Niebuhr brothers. The paper explored the theme of freedom and responsibility, and Pastor Pollmann asked me to present a series of short presentations on it during worship. I no longer have what I wrote, which is no great loss. I no longer have the original essay, which IS a great loss.

Fifty years later, the core of that essay looms large – not just for me, but I believe for the viability of democracy. Niebuhr’s core idea, at least the one I grasped, was basic: freedom and responsibility cannot be separated from one another without significant danger. For an individual. For a church. For a nation.

Responsibility without freedom goes by many names. Drudgery. Blind obedience. Slavery. Consider the destructive possibilities of such a state of affairs. Nuremberg comes to mind: I was only following orders. Or three-hundred and fifty years of slavery in this nation followed by a century and more of Jim Crow and segregation, whose consequences still erode this nation– especially when some refuse to grasp (or admit) the affront of those days, reminiscing instead about “lost causes.” Responsibility without freedom is a dead-end street –in its worst cases, it becomes a literal killing field of human spirit and community.

But responsibility devoid of freedom is not the only danger when those two are separated.

To some, actually I suspect to many, freedom has become deified into an unqualified good – which is to say, freedom trumps all other qualities and serves as life’s ultimate arbiter. Absolute personal freedom is to be unfettered by anything or anyone. Or is it? This is the other pandemic now ripping our nation apart.

Freedom without responsibility also goes by many names. Licentiousness. Anarchy. The disintegration of community bonds. Consider the destructive possibilities it has unleashed among us. The transformation of masks and vaccines from public health tools to save lives into a political battlefield where MY freedom to do as I choose is everything, regardless of any consequences for the lives of others. Or the freedom to vote for a chosen candidate becomes a license to lie about the validity of the choices and votes of others, a cancer seen in: 1) the lies about the truth of the November election; 2) the abortive attempt on January 6th to violently install the losing candidate over the choice of the majority; and 3) the efforts now underway to legislate voter suppression to eliminate the franchise of those pesky “others” – whether “other” is defined by party or race or country of origin. Freedom without responsibility dis-members society.

The bottom line is this. We have vaccines to combat Covid. We do not have vaccines to combat the collapse of community when “my freedom” is exalted over all, including truth. Jesus once said the truth will set you free – NOT you are free to invent your own truth. For church, for democracy, to hold together: freedom must be yoked with responsibility. If it is not, the lines of the Irish poet Yeats come to mind, written ironically in the wake of the 1918 flu pandemic and the first stirrings of European fascism:
Things fall apart; the centre cannot hold;
             Mere anarchy is loosed upon the world . . .
             While the worst are full of passionate intensity.

What does it mean to offer a sacrifice of praise?

by Rev. Deb Worley

“Praise the Lord!
Praise God in his sanctuary; praise him in his mighty firmament!
Praise him for his mighty deeds; praise him according to his surpassing greatness!…
Let everything that breathes praise the Lord!
Praise the Lord!”
(Psalm 150:1,2,6)

I’ve had the phrase “sacrifice of praise” stuck in my head for the last few days. I’m not sure where I saw it, or how it got there, but it’s been there, rolling around, forcing me to think about it. What does it mean, to offer a sacrifice of praise? Those two words don’t really seem to go together easily.

Doesn’t offering a sacrifice usually imply some sort of hardship? Doesn’t the idea of making a sacrifice generally include the understanding of doing something that’s not comfortable or easy, but in fact, is inconvenient, difficult, or even painful? And isn’t offering praise, on the other hand, the sharing of something good and encouraging and uplifting, the offering of which usually comes easily and willingly, and even naturally?

So why are we invited to “continually offer to God a sacrifice of praise”? (cf. Hebrews 13:15; emphasis mine).

People are struggling right now. And not just “right now,” but for close to a year. A year. For almost twelve months we have been living with the restrictions imposed by COVID-19–which I do not need to elaborate on; we all know them all too well. Of course, people were struggling before that, too; life was not all rainbows and roses pre-coronavirus.

But the COVID-related restrictions have made everyone’s struggles even greater.

People are struggling. People around the world and across the street. Our neighbors and co-workers, our educators and political leaders, our relatives and friends. You who are reading this, and I who am writing this. We are all struggling. It’s nothing to be ashamed of, nothing to hide, nothing to try to deny. I dare say it’s a fact of life in this season through which we are living.

And yet, we, as people of faith, now as always, are invited to praise God….

Suddenly, the idea of offering a sacrifice of praise makes sense. Right now, in the midst of these struggles, there may not be a lot that we want to say to God that is good and encouraging and uplifting. Right now, in the midst of these struggles, offering praise to God may not come easily or willingly or naturally. Right now, in the midst of these struggles, praising God is not necessarily easy or comfortable. Right now, in the midst of these struggles, I dare say that praising God may very well be difficult, or even painful.

And yet, we, as people of faith, now as always, are invited to praise God….

Perhaps it doesn’t come easily. Perhaps it doesn’t feel natural. Perhaps it’s even painful.

But maybe, just maybe, as people of faith, we can dig deep and offer a sacrifice of praise to God–praising God for God’s steadfast love and abiding presence if nothing else–right now, in the midst of these struggles.

Peace be with us all.
Deb

Here is what I have done every day during the pandemic.

by Gordon Street, SWC Commissioned Minister for Reimagining and Connecting with the God of One’s Own Understanding

Faith and spiritual practices sustain me during this uncertain pandemic era and unprecedented election season. Because my ministry focuses on helping people connect with a God of their own understanding, I want to share a few thoughts about what has helped personally these last many months.

The solution always is faith. But what does faith really mean? A quirk of the English language is that faith can be only a noun when it really should be a verb because faith is not what I think, it is what I do. Paul, in Hebrews, says “Now faith is the substance of things hoped for, the evidence of things not seen.” That means faith is the result of hope, the evidence of the unknowable. How I choose to face each day and what I do during the course of each day produces faith. Faith does not guide my actions. Actions produce my faith.

Here is what I have done every day during the pandemic. Each day I begin with a prayer for wisdom, strength, willingness and courage to face the things I must face. I also pray for the world, my family, my First Church beloved community, and my friends, to help them in all their needs. Most important is my prayer that God’s will be done in their lives as well as mine. I don’t pray for outcomes. I pray for attitudes in circumstances.

I, like most people, am cooped up at home. I reach out the friends, family and even strangers every day to see how I can be of service to them and give words of hope and encouragement.

In other words, I pray for faith for myself, and the rest of my prayers are for everyone else. Take the focus off of me. I believe my prayers and actions embody Jesus’ suggestion that we love God with all of our being and love our neighbors as we love ourselves.

Faith doesn’t mean everything will be alright, and I’ll win the lottery too.

God doesn’t necessarily make everything all better. God grants me the willingness, strength, and courage to handle whatever I am facing. God is with me and embracing me through it all. Especially during difficult times. I am comforted by knowing I’m not alone in difficulty.