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Common Tables

by Southwest Conference Minister Rev. Dr. Bill Lyons; the following is his keynote at the Common Tables interfaith prayer and networking luncheon at the Arizona State Capitol on Tuesday, March 29, 2022

Inviting everyone to the table is something between a buzz phrase and an overused platitude these days. We say it with the best of intentions trying to counter a hyper-polarized culture and the long-practiced injustice of exclusion. But what do we really mean when we invite people to the table?

“JOIN US” – WE WANT THEM TO FIT IN

There are the “join us” invitations. Sometimes we invite people to table because the time has come to acknowledge and interrupt the prejudices and biases that have silenced the voices of our neighbors. We feel embarrassed by the racism, sexism, ageism, classism, or heterosexism any one of a host of other ‘isms,’ and we want to stop the privilege, supremacy, and outright hate that have othered people to the margins. Our invitation to join us is intended to be an expression of our commitments to equal opportunity and fair treatment.

When people accept our “join us” invitation, we are quick to celebrate demographic diversity and the promotion of fair and equal treatment. But the celebration often comes too soon – before anyone new at the table has a chance to say anything. It really wasn’t their voices we valued or wanted among us, it was their numbers, their bodies if I may be so bold, something we could count, not someone to whom we wanted to listen or who might possibly change us. We wanted them to join us, to join US. The expectation was that if people can just share a common table everyone will realize “they are just like each other.” What we hold in common is idealized. The ways in which we are different get subverted to preserve harmony and avoid conflict. The tacit assumption in an invitation to “join us” is that “’we are all the same’ or ‘we aspire to being all the same.’” Because, after all aren’t we all the same in our deepest humanity? And the answer to that is most assuredly no.

BRING A DISH TO SHARE – WE WANT WHAT THEY BRING WITH THEM.

Then there are times we invite people to table with what I call a “bring-a-dish-to-share” invitations. A leader notices that the world around them is becoming a more diverse place while the organization they lead isn’t. Think of the business that wants or needs new markets, the church that needs new members, or the party that needs new voters in order to expand, or to remain viable, or to survive. Fear takes root – the fear of losing. The objective of bringing more voices, new voices, diverse voices to the table is really to gain access to or legitimacy with a more diverse clientele or constituency. The very qualities, characteristics, competencies and contributions that lead to that access or legitimacy are pigeon-holed rather than integrated. Integrating new voices would mean changing the way we do things, or even changing ourselves. Instead, people are exploited rather than being affirmed to bring their whole selves – culture, language, art, beliefs, orientation, and identity – to t e table. When that realization sets in people begin to feel devalued. Bring-a-dish-to-share invitations are born out of the desire to win. Practitioners of access-and-legitimacy diversity fail to realize that they’ve lost the long game.

“COME AS YOU ARE” – ONLY WITH YOU CAN WE BE OUR BEST SELVES TOGETHER.

When we are at our best – faith leaders, business leaders, political leaders, any leaders – we invite people to table with “come as you are” invitations. We are intentional, asking people to bring their whole selves to the conversation. We listen for understanding, not for the best way to make our next point. Together we are mindful that “I cannot remain the same because you have joined me at table.” Differences are not simply valued; they are integrated into everything that happens around the table. And at our very best selves, we tear down the old tables and build new ones together – tables of different substance and different quality.

My faith teaches me that in my humanity I begin to hear the infinite God whom I serve and worship by connecting with and listening to the voices outside myself, as many of them as possible. No voice from the margins can be excluded from the table without risking an unheard word from God, for God has habit of siding with the oppressed.

Today we are being offered “come as you are” invitations. The goal is building relationships in which prophetic calls can be issued and just actions taken. This is a time to be our best selves, to listen one another into understanding, to integrate the differences among us, to set aside our need for a personal win and join the effort for a team victory – the human team, by committing ourselves to building new tables of substance and quality. This is time to break bread together, and without trying to break one another, to find ways of including rather than excluding and therefor silencing as many voices as possible in our democracy, beginning in voting booths, extending to our borders, through the forging an economy that promotes personal dignity, by creating opportunities for rehabilitation, offering forgiveness, and removing stigma. Come as you are. Bring your culture, language, beliefs, and experiences. Be courageous and vulnerable. Together let us end our time together today better for it.

I think I’m a little strange…

by Rev. Deb Worley

“Let us now confess our sin…”

This is from [the 3/13/2022] worship service, as the introduction to our time of confession. I think this time each week is so important, so critical, so potentially powerful! I love it. For myself. And for our community. And yes, I know–I’m a little strange that way… But bear with me. I think there’s a chance you just might come to love it, too…

“I know we’re just a little ways into our worship this morning, but I’m going to do a quick review. So far I and we have said the following words:
‘Grace and peace to you in the name of Jesus Christ!’
‘God is good, all the time!’
‘…with God on my side I’m fearless, afraid of no one and nothing.’
Whether it’s because we are in Lent, or because of what’s going on in the world, or because of other things that are stirring in my soul, I find myself asking myself (and not for the first time!), do those words –Grace…peace…God-is-good…fearless–really mean anything?

And then I answer myself, Of course they do.

But then I wonder, what? What do they really mean? How do they really affect my day-to-day life? Because they have to. They have to.

At the core of my identity is that I am a person of faith, a beloved child of God. Those words have to make a difference in the living of my life. Or they are just words….

And they are not just words—grace…peace…God-is-good…fearless—they are powerful truths about the Reality of God, the Kingdom of God, the Possibilities of God!

And as I, and we, live into the reality of these truths, as we live more and more out of these truths, I have to believe that the Kingdom of God will grow. Bit by tiny bit, moment by singular moment, interaction by individual interaction. But it will grow…

One part of that process of living into the reality of those truths–just one part—but it’s a significant part—is owning our sin. Yep, that’s another word that’s not just a word but a powerful truth—sin.

And unlike “grace” and “peace” and “Good-is-good!” it’s one we don’t like to think or talk about much.

But our not-thinking-or-talking-about-it-much—or at least the depth of the reality of it—is, I am convinced, part of what keeps us from living more deeply into God’s grace and peace and goodness!

Our reluctance to admit those things with which we struggle, those things around which we feel shame, those things for which we have either stepped deliberately off or fallen accidentally off the path of love and healing—all of those things that keep us distant from one another, from our true selves, from God—our reluctance to acknowledge, to admit, to confess those things is part of what keeps things like “grace” and “peace” and the goodness of God as simply nice words rather than deeply profound truths.

Our reluctance to consider the truth and power of our sin, both individually and corporately, is part of what keeps us from accessing and living into the truth and power of God’s grace and peace and goodness.

So(!)…now’s our chance. A chance. A chance to get real about our sin. In these moments, we have a chance to ‘fess up, to God and to ourselves—and in a few moments, to and with one another—our mistakes, our failings, our screw-ups. Our struggles, our secrets, our shame. Or even just one of those, if that’s where you need to begin.

As we do that, God can begin remove the weight of all of that from us, look us in the eyes, and whisper to us, “I know. And I still love you. Now get up and try again.”

And in that, we will begin to experience the reality of God’s goodness and peace more deeply. And those words will become truths. And God’s Kingdom will grow, first within us and then in the world around us, bit by tiny bit, moment by singular moment, interaction by individual interaction.

There is real power available in the act of confessing our sin.

I invite you now, as beloved children of God, to join me for a few moments of silent confession.

Let us pray…

And of course, a time of confession is not complete without what I like to call an Assurance of Belovedness. So know, dear one, that even in the face of full admission of your sin (or as “full” as you can muster at the moment), you are deeply and utterly loved. Always. Forever. No matter what. Know that in the name of Jesus Christ, you are forgiven! Get up and get living!

—————————–
So–what do you think? Do you love it?? If not yet, keep trying. Keep returning to it. You just might surprise yourself one day…and love it.

Or maybe I’m just a little strange that way… 🙂
Deb

If It Dies, It Produces Many Seeds

by Rev. Victoria Ubben

Scripture: Jesus said, “Very truly I tell you, unless a kernel of wheat falls to the ground and dies, it remains only a single seed. But if it dies, it produces many seeds.” (John 12:24)

Two things become unmistakably clear from John’s Gospel lesson. One is that transformation is difficult. And transformation is glorious. So, the question is “What needs to be transformed (or die) in you during this season of Lent so that something new can be born?”

Just about three years ago, I represented our United Church of Christ on an agricultural mission trip to visit three indigenous communities in Guatemala. Six years prior to this, Growing Hope Globally had worked with several mission partners to teach women to farm in their communities (as many of the men had migrated, leaving women and children behind in these three villages). With an absence of men, plus obvious effects of climate change in the region, people were malnourished and starving. The purpose of our trip was to follow-up on the progress (and success) of these new farming techniques.

A brief (and simplified) history: The Guatemalan Civil War ran from 1960 to 1996. It was fought between the government of Guatemala and the rural poor (many of whom are ethnic Maya indigenous people and ladino peasants). After the Guatemalan conflict, when the natives came out of the jungle where they had been hiding, they began to look for their lost friends and loved ones. Of course, most of them were nowhere to be found.

One man we met, Cristobel, told us (through a translator) that when he was only seven years old, almost his entire village had been massacred on one dark night. Cristobel, and his five-year old sister, Catarina, hid silently under the lice-infested straw in order to survive until the coast was clear. Since that time, he has made it his mission to search on the mountainside for unmarked mass graves. He found them and unearthed the decomposing bodies. Years later, he set up a memorial for the 87 people in his small village who had been killed in just one night.

Someone like Cristobel said, “They tried to kill us and bury us; they did not know that we were seeds.” Now Cristobel’s community has risen from the earth. They are no longer malnourished and now they have what we call “food sovereignty”…which means that these people are not dependent on anyone else for their food. They can focus on local resources and local markets. The campesinos (peasant farmers) have risen… children have risen out from under the lice-infested straw…the spirits (I suppose) of 87 bodies also have risen from a mass grave.

If we die…like a seed…we produce more of what this world needs.

So, what if we loved our neighbors as ourselves? Then we would not be as segregated in our communities as we are.
What if we lived out God’s word and did not spend time trying to defend it? Then more people would be drawn to Christ.
What if we were simply faithful Christians being the light that sits upon the hill? Then others would see our good works and glorify God.
What if we really believed that all people are created with unalienable rights of life, liberty, and the pursuit of happiness? Then we will not see some as aliens and threats, but as brothers and sisters in Christ.

What if …

They tried to kill us and bury us; but they did not know that we were seeds? Then, like Jesus, we will rise up out of the grave and sprout into new life!

Closing Prayer:

Dear God, shine your light of conviction and truth upon our hearts. We offer our feelings to you that are heavy and burdensome, and those feelings that are yet hopeful of your good work among us. We surrender all to you, trusting that you are producing good fruit within each of us. Amen.

To learn more about the mission of Growing Hope Globally, check out: growinghopeglobally.org
Some of these ideas in this blog post are drawn loosely from An American Lent – Repentance Project, 2019.

photo credits: Alex Morse and Max Finberg

Oh The Humanity

by Davin Franklin-Hicks

I met Auntie Rose when I was four or five. She had to be 184 years old, give or take 100 years. Old was ancient to me, like the pyramids, dinosaurs, and God. Auntie Rose lived next door to my mom and my mom’s three kids of which I was firmly in the center. My older brother and my baby brother were my orbit. My dad was a satellite across town while my mom was the moon, sleeping during the day and shining somewhere far from me at night. It wasn’t a world with cohesion, just one with intense gravity.

We lived in apartments with too many kids and too few awake adults so anyone who took an interest in me became family. That was how a stranger named Rose became Auntie Rose and her husband (by association, not at all earned) became Uncle John. And I loved her. She was sweet to me and had a soft lap. She made me eggs some mornings when my mom wasn’t all that aware of my grumbling tummy. She asked me about things like hopscotch and fights with my brothers and my wishes to be the President and a country music singer, dual careers that felt realistic and achievable.

There was another ancient woman on the premises that everyone called Granny. Now Granny really was the oldest person alive, of that I am certain. I don’t have the Guinness Book of Records to prove it, but my memory filed her away as the oldest person ever and I still hold every centenarian up against her. Granny played solitaire, smoked cigarettes, watched daytime television, prayed the rosary, and made cookies. Auntie Rose visited with her several times a week for many years and I would trail over after her. Granny had one of those little plaques with wooden blocks that spelled out JESUS if your eyes adjusted to it in just the right way. I thought that was brilliant. I would let my eyes go in and out of focus while tracing the lines, amazed that blank space could become something else if you saw it the right way. Auntie Rose’s words and Granny’s cigarette smoke would waft around me as they talked about nothing that actually interested me, but held me just the same. I thought Auntie Rose and Granny were actually related. My mom let me know years later that they were not. I guess I was making chosen family for as long as I had the ability.

Auntie Rose wasn’t my neighbor for long, but while she was, she likely heard a lot through the thin wall that separated her home from mine. My mom’s boyfriend, my future step-father, wasn’t a kind man and expressed that loudly in all sorts of ways. She didn’t like him which made me like her more. She also didn’t like her own husband much. I could tell that right away. I could give or take him. He was silent and sullen. She did something that no ancient person ever did in the 1980s: she divorced him. And then she moved away.

Auntie Rose kept coming back to visit Granny, though, so I didn’t lose her. It was one of those visits when something shifted that never shifted back. It was a moment I remember so vividly and so clearly you would think something traumatic happened. It wasn’t traumatic, though. I had been in the living room, talking to Granny. Granny asked me to go give Auntie Rose a vase as she was in the back room doing some kind of rearranging of a closet for Granny. I walked down the hall to the bedroom and there was no Auntie Rose. Then I heard her call from the darkened bathroom that had the door wide open. “Need something?” I walked toward her and then froze when I heard the unmistakable sound of urine hitting the water of a toilet.

She was talking to me. While peeing. And can you even? I could not. I froze and felt my stomach hurt. I said, “Uh, no. Nothing.” I set the vase on the bed and hightailed it out of the apartment, confused and disoriented by the whole experience.

There is such a fragility in early childhood, a constant reckoning with the stimulus all around. A sense of awe or mortification seem equally in reach at any given moment. I had been awed so much by Auntie Rose’s unfailing kindness and love that mortification had an easy entry. She had seemed above need, above doing anything so base as having to use the bathroom. I never forgave her for being so very human when I had cast her as Love.

That memory was created when I was eight-years old and I must think of it at least once a month with a very specific trigger: embarrassment on behalf of another’s humanity. I feel the burn of embarrassment the most intensely when it’s my own humanity revealed at the most inopportune time.

There’s a great scene from a mediocre show that also occurs to me frequently alongside this memory. The show was Nurse Jackie and the scene depicts a conversation between one of my favorite fictional TV characters Gloria Akalitus and a second character named Dr. O’Hara. Gloria Akalitus is the head of an overtaxed ER. She is every medical administrator I have ever met with a wonderful, lovable, terrifying personality. Dr. O’Hara comes upon Gloria eating and says, “I don’t think I have ever seen you eat before.” Gloria’s response is, “I like to hide my humanity. Or at least keep it to a minimum.”

Why is admitting we are human the hardest thing we do all day? Feels like it has something to do with the red rover game between capability and vulnerability that plays throughout the entirety of our living.

So what didn’t match up for the eight-year old me that day? Was it that she was in the bathroom with the light off? Was it that the door was open? Was it that it was unexpected? Or was it just too human?

It was being confronted with base need where strength and comfort had been the only resident prior. It made everything feel a bit more fragile in a world that already wasn’t sturdy. I am thankful for that moment now. I know it’s a weird thing to be thankful for – someone using the bathroom with the door open. I am, though, because it serves me. It pops up when I want to run like my young self did. It presents itself when another’s humanity feels far too real or when my own feels far too ugly. I pause now instead of run. I remind myself that we are all just humans working out our needs the best we can. I remind myself of my own capability and of yours. And, most of the time, I stay.

I imagine if I hadn’t run that day then Auntie Rose would have likely finished her business, washed her hands, and come out of the bathroom to take the vase from me. She likely would have had a kind word for me as she often peppered mundane moments with affirmation. I would have likely returned to Granny while she played her millionth game of solitaire and smoked her millionth-and-one cigarette. My stomach would have settled and cookies would have been consumed. Life would have simply continued.

I don’t know what it is about being human that sometimes makes the stomach hurt and causes us to flee, but I do know that most of us have moments that feel too naked and real. May we not change them or run from them. May we wait them out and see what happens. May we accept our need as fully human. May we close the door when we go potty.

“Red rover, red rover, send acceptance right over.”

Installation Sermon for Rev. Susan Valiquette

by Rev. Sue Joiner, Senior Minister, First Congregational United Church of Christ, Albuquerque, New Mexico

Installation Sermon for Susan Valiquette

November 7, 2021

John 12:1-8 and John 11:44

12 Six days before the Passover Jesus came to Bethany, the home of Lazarus, whom he had raised from the dead. ²There they gave a dinner for him. Martha served, and Lazarus was one of those at the table with him. ³Mary took a pound of costly perfume made of pure nard, anointed Jesus’ feet, and wiped them with her hair. The house was filled with the fragrance of the perfume. ⁴But Judas Iscariot, one of his disciples (the one who was about to betray him), said, ⁵“Why was this perfume not sold for three hundred denarii and the money given to the poor?” ⁶(He said this not because he cared about the poor, but because he was a thief; he kept the common purse and used to steal what was put into it.) ⁷Jesus said, “Leave her alone. She bought it so that she might keep it for the day of my burial. ⁸You always have the poor with you, but you do not always have me.”

We live our lives based on the stories we have been told and even more, the stories we tell ourselves over and over. I heard a story in college that continues to profoundly shape my theology. Wes Seeliger tells this story from his own childhood. It may or may not be a coincidence that the one who changes everything in this story is named Susan. Wes said,

“Grandmother’s living room was large and dark.  She kept the shades down so her furniture wouldn’t fade.  One day in 1943, when I was five years old, I sat in the middle of her living room floor playing with my toy cars.  I had at least a hundred; fire trucks, buses, tractors, everything – even a hearse.

‘For me, playing with cars was serious business and there was definitely a “right” way to do it.  The idea was to form a large circle of cars on the living room floor.  And the cars had to be evenly spaced.  Precision was of the essence. I placed my toy box in the middle of the floor.  Then, I took each car out of the box and began forming my circle.  I was very careful.  No two fire trucks could be together.  No two cars the same color could be together.  It was a tedious process, but I was a determined kid.

When the circle was complete, I sat in the middle and admired my cars and my handiwork.  And since my grandmother never used the living room, my circle remained intact for days.  I returned time and time again to look at my cars and to make minor aesthetic adjustments.

One morning I was sitting in the middle of my circle.  Peace and contentment bathed my five-year-old soul as I surveyed my almost perfect toy kingdom with everything in its proper order.

Then came Susan.  Susan was my 3-year-old cousin, and she was a live wire.  Susan took one look at my precious circle of toys and charged.  My precious, tranquil circle was destroyed in an instant.  She kicked and threw my cars all over the room.  She was laughing and squealing – I was crying and screaming.  Grandmother dashed in to see who was being murdered. Grandmother told me later than I cried for two hours, and she had to rock me to sleep that night.  How can you sleep when your world has been destroyed?

The next morning, I went into the living room to survey the damage.  I was about to begin the painful process of rebuilding when Grandmother told me that Susan was coming over, so I gave up in despair.  So, when my rambunctious little cousin arrived there was nothing to destroy.

I met Susan at the door to try and avoid additional damage. Susan suggested that we take the cars outside.  What an idea!  I hadn’t thought of that.  But what if they get dirty?  What if one gets lost or broken?  It wasn’t my idea of playing cars, but I gave in.  I decided to risk taking my cars outside.  No use trying to build a circle with Susan around. We played outside all day.  We put real dirt in the dump truck.  We made ramps, forts, and tunnels.  I even let Susan talk me into crashing the cars together.  I had no idea playing cars could be so much fun.’

A lot of water has gone under the bridge since that day in 1943.  I have listened to hundreds of sermons and Sunday school lessons.  I have read stacks of theology books.  And a seminary degree hangs on my wall.

But I think Susan taught me all I really need to know about theology – SIN (unfaith) is sitting in the middle of our homemade universe; FAITH – is the courage and freedom to leave the dark, musty, familiar, living room and take what we love most into the great outdoors.”

Susan, you know the literal truth of this story already. You find energy outside, and you make sure you get out as much as you can. It keeps you grounded, and I experience that when I hear you pray because I feel your connection to God. Is there something you love that you are called to carry into the great outdoors?

Let’s be honest. The world is not always open to Susans. Susans come along and question how things have been done. Susans may suggest an extravagant alternative and that can be a threat. At the same time, it can be so beautiful. It is 2021 and the world still isn’t sure what to do with women in leadership. What a gift that First Church has been open and welcoming and loving with you. It is important for all of us to embrace your unique ministry here.

No one knew what to do with Mary. She sat with Jesus instead of working in the kitchen. Here she takes very expensive perfume and pours it on Jesus’ feet. Note she doesn’t just use a drop or two, she empties the jar and then wipes his feet with her hair. Could she be any more embarrassing? Where is her sense of dignity? But Jesus saw her. He saw the ways she ministered from the depth of her being. She wasn’t trying to be someone else. She wasn’t trying to fit in to a mold that didn’t fit. In fact, she is used to criticism. She doesn’t let that stop her from ministering in the way that is authentically her.

My concern about the stories we tell ourselves is that those stories may be the ones that keep us from being who we are at any given time. Susan, God called you to ministry. Today you are installed at First Church, and you all say a wholehearted yes to each other. My hope is that this covenant you make with one another will allow you to be who are as you serve this congregation. By doing so, you may all be surprised by the joy you find when you take what you love most into the great outdoors.

I didn’t read the story from John that comes before Mary’s ministry to Jesus, but it is important. Mary and Martha’s brother has died. He has been in the tomb for four days and he smells. Jesus calls Lazarus out of the tomb and then he turns to the people gathered and gives them a simple instruction: “unbind him and let him go.” My friends, that is what we are here to do. My understanding is that you know this, First Church. You have a history of it. My prayer for you as a church is that these will be your guiding words in the days to come. Jesus did not turn to the ordained minister. He did not turn to the lay leader. He turned to the entire gathered community and called them to be the ones who would unbind Lazarus. It is what we do for each other. It is what we do for those who dare to walk through our doors or log on to see if they could possibly be welcome here because they have been told there is no place for them in God’s church. It is what we do for those who have sacrificed everything to step into this country, hoping to find freedom. It is what we do for those in recovery, for those who are housing insecure, for those who are struggling with mental health challenges.

If we are going to unbind them and let them go, it will take all of us. This is not a job for a few volunteers or committee chairs. It will require the whole community to listen to one another and care for one another. It will mean decisions that are difficult. It will mean loss and sacrifice. It will take us into places that are scary and unknown and sometimes places where it seems there is only death. It is into those very places that Jesus calls us to make room for life.

We are trying to be the church in difficult times. The pandemic has taken over five million lives. There have been more than 37,000 deaths to gun violence in the United States this year alone. Suicide is among the leading causes of death in our country. Our planet is dying before our own eyes. As we have made decisions over the last twenty months, we are not just talking about what we should do, we are asking “who could die if we do this?” Death is not hypothetical.

We worship a God who teaches us again and again that death is not the last word. People are dying around us. God is not shielding us from death, but rather calling us to be the ones who will “practice resurrection” to use Wendell Berry’s words.

God is at work in the world right now. God is breathing life into those places where this is no hope, where there is nothing but death. God is showing us a new way. As Kate Bowler says, “God can make things new with or without us. But God chooses to use us.” Be warned, we are going to be asked to get involved. God will remove the stones from places we believed were only death. Then we are called to step in and begin the process of unbinding.

Wes Seeliger didn’t experience deep joy until he risked losing his precious cars. Susan taught him that life is to be lived out in the world and that means things will get dirty and broken along the way. But she showed him to live fully.

Before he became a full-time poet, David Whyte tells about being stressed and feeling like he was in a dead-end. He met with Brother David Stendl-Rast and said, “Speak to me of exhaustion.”  [David Stendl-Rast] put his glass down for a moment and realized that David Whyte was absolutely exhausted.  David Stendl-Rast said, “You know, David, the antidote to exhaustion is not necessarily rest.”  And David Whyte repeated, “The antidote to exhaustion is not necessarily rest.  What is the antidote to exhaustion?”  He said, “The antidote to exhaustion is wholeheartedness.  This is the point where you have to take a full step into your métier (meh·tee·ay), into your future vocation, and wholeheartedly risk yourself in that world.” (https://gratefulness.org/dw-session-1-transcript/).

In 2017, we took Kadhim Albumohammed into Sanctuary at First Congregational, Albuquerque. We did this with the support of the Southwest Conference, Bill Lyons, Ken Heintzelman, and Brendan Mahoney who flew to Albuquerque to talk with us about the legal implications of this decision. Kadhim was from Iraq. He worked for the U.S. military to teach them language and culture with the promise that they would take care of him. Instead, he received a letter to report for deportation. To be deported was guaranteed torture and death. He had betrayed his country and he would pay for it if he was sent home. In November that year, the Native American youth from the Rehoboth School in Gallup came to sing for worship. Afterward, they asked to hear Kadhim’s story. He spoke with them and then they asked him to stand in the middle of the sanctuary. They formed a circle around him and sang the words, “We are not alone.” When I hear these words, I am reminded that in the most difficult situations, God is with us.

Susan, First Church friends, today you commit to ministry together and my prayer for all of you is to do so wholeheartedly, to ground yourself in a God who calls us to life and to know this work must be done together. God is with you. May you discover the fullness of God’s love as you practice resurrection in the days to come.

Relational Ways of Being the Church for Post-Pandemic Times

by Rev. Kari Collins

Many of our local churches are weary. Many are struggling. We have long treated our local churches like transactions. How many members do we have? How many are in attendance each Sunday. Are all of the vacancies filled on our committees and ministries? How many children and youth do we have? How much is our budget? And we’ve limited our ministry by saying, “We’ve never done it that way,” or its corollary, “We’ve always done it this way.” But transactions are numbers, and the truth is, those numbers have been in decline for many of our churches for decades.

And then the pandemic hit. Our in-person church stopped. Our society stopped. Our entire world stopped. And while many of our churches were able to pivot to online methods of worship and ministry, pandemic fatigue is real for so many of us!

In a recent article titled, “They’re Not Coming Back,” Reverend Rob Dyer contends that even as we slowly reopen our churches, people are not coming back to the church, at least not at the same level of engagement as before…. nor will they. We have all been traumatized by this pandemic.

So what do we do? How do we, our churches, reintroduce ourselves as a place that can tend to the wounds that this pandemic has opened in all of us?

I believe we have a choice. We can continue to be transactional churches and see our numbers decline, now even more precipitously post-pandemic than before.

Or, we can see this post-pandemic time as an opportunity to operate differently as church, an opportunity to transform lives in new ways.

And it is in this opportunity that I find hope. This will require innovative change. And, to be honest, we don’t know what these changes might look like. And this is where God comes in.

Each and every one of us has gifts for ministry. If we work to develop and deepen our relationships with one another, we can seek to understand the life experiences and beliefs that shape who we are and how we are each Called to share our gifts and talents in the world. And we need to deepen our relationships with intention. Now I’m not talking about joining more committees or ministries, where we have meetings to attend and tasks to be done. Rather, I’m inviting us to be in intentional one-to-one relational conversations with each other, during which we listen for and draw out the Spirit abiding in one another. It was during an intentional one-to-one relational conversation that I began to discern my Call to parish ministry, as my conversation partner shared his stories about the justice work that he had done in the local church setting.

And we have the opportunity to have one-to-one relational conversations with those who can’t or don’t or won’t come to a church building on Sunday mornings, and to listen for where Spirit abides in them. What they are longing for? And how can we, as church, partner with them to follow Jesus in new ways, ways that aren’t limited to bringing people into a church building on Sunday mornings?

When we shift our churches from being transactional to being relational, Spirit can be at work. And when we let Spirit work, we can develop partners in ministry to help us to truly live the prophetic and revolutionary teachings of Jesus, to find new ways to be the hands and feet of Jesus in our community and in our world. The pandemic has given us the opportunity to grab onto change.

Reverend Dyer concludes his article by saying, “The need for a major pivot is before us, and we know that God will provide for the times and places where we are found. Therefore, let us walk into this valley with eyes wide open, ready to step forward with intention, believing in the presence of the Good Shepherd, the proximity of green pastures, the provided meal amongst adversity, the anointing of our heads, the overflowing of our cups, and our place in the House of the Lord forever.”

Let us follow the prophetic and revolutionary teachings of Jesus together, in deep relationship with one another, listening for where Spirit is alive in each and every one of us, and seeing in what new ways God is Calling us to Be the Church.

Rev. Kari Collins (she/her/hers)

Vice Moderator, Casas Adobes UCC, Tucson, AZ
Minister of Stewardship and Philanthropy, Sixth Avenue UCC, Denver, CO
Consultant to churches in the Rocky Mountain Conference UCC on ways to shift from a culture of scarcity in our churches to an expectation of abundance, inviting people to invest in ministry that transforms lives.

Missing Sermons and Lessons: Part II

A: When Domestic Violence Is Revealed—DOs and DON’Ts

B: Elder Abuse: Be Informed and Resources

by Kay Klinkenborg, Church of the Palms UCC

A: WHEN DOMESTIC VIOLENCE IS REVEALED…DO’S AND DON’Ts

There are some key truths and safety strategies to know when a situation of domestic violence (DV) is revealed; safety for the victim and you.

TRUTHS:

Victims suffer multiple types of abuse with varying levels of severity, the overwhelming constant is that abusers will use whatever means available to control a victim.
First and foremost, if a violent act is occurring or imminent, call 911 to get immediate help.
Leaving a violent situation is the most dangerous time for a victim.
There may be children in the home that the victim has to protect as well as themselves. Don’t believe that an abuser ‘would never hurt the children’.
The abuser will lie to get what they want; the married abuser will use the contract as a religious commitment for permission to take over the situation. Truth is: the abuser broke the marriage contract with the first behaviors of emotional, physical, manipulation or sexual abuse.
If the victim comes to your home or work place, do not disclose to the abuser where victim (h/she) is or where you live. Never reveal the location of a safe house or domestic violence shelter to a victim’s partner/spouse, or abuser’s family members.
Be patient with the victim as they make plans to leave, if they do. Victims leave on an average of 7+ times before they finally leave the abuser. The fear a victim feels for their very life is real. Do not drop support from victim should they return to the abuser. Remember, leaving an abuser is a frightening experience and their life is in danger. ^1,2,3,6,8

FIRST PRIORITY SAFETY STRATEGIES:

Listen without judgment; keep comments non-judgmental.
Refrain from telling a victim what to do; no one knows the abuser better than the victim.
Remind the victim that s/he does not deserve the abuse; nor have they done something wrong to provoke it.
Offer to help victim contact DV hotline or advocate at a shelter to obtain information; if you give them a written phone number or shelter address, instruct them to keep in their shoe underneath the sole where the abuser cannot find it or a similarly discreet hiding place; not their phone.
You could offer to drive them to the shelter or police station.
Make a safety plan: the most effective trained people to help the victim make a safety plan is the DV hotline worker, or shelter staff. You can support the victim in the steps they chose to work on that plan.
If immediate safety is needed, a shelter is the best place for victim. ^1,2,3,6,7,8

SECOND LEVEL SAFETY STRATEGIES

Learn about the dynamics of DV from reputable DV intervention or prevention programs
Accompany victim to court to obtain a protective order
Help build community awareness of domestic violence
Make your own list of supportive community resources ^2,3,7,8

DOMESTIC VIOLENCE PHONE RESOURCES ^2,3,7

National: 1-800-799-SAFE (7233) can give phone info for any state

Maricopa County, AZ only Shelter Line: 480-890-3039

Arizona: 24-hour Domestic Violence Hotline: 800-799-7233 800-787-3224 (TTD)

AZ Coalition to End Sexual and Domestic Violence: 602-279-2900 800-782-6400 602-279-7270

Domestic Violence Program Information: 602-542-4446

Sexual Assault Hotline RAINN 800-656-HOPE (4673)

B: ELDER ABUSE: BE INFORMED and RESOURCES

Over 500,000 people 60 years of age and older are abused or neglected each year in the United States. It was also found that four times as many incidents of abuse or neglect are never reported, causing researches to estimate that as many as 2 million elderly persons in the United States are abused each year. In 90% of the cases, the abusers were found to be family members and most often were adult children or spouses of those abused. In addition, equal numbers of men and women have been identified as the abusers. However, women, especially those over 80 years of age, tend to be victimized more than men. ^5,8

The National Center on Elder Abuse identifies the following as signs of elder abuse:

Bruises, pressure marks, broken bones, abrasions, and burns may indicate physical abuse or neglect.
Unexplained withdrawal from normal activities and unusual depression may be indicators of emotional abuse.
Bruises around the breasts or genital area, as well as unexplained bleeding around the genital area, may be signs of sexual abuse.
Large withdrawals of money from an elder’s bank account, sudden changes in a will, and the sudden disappearance of valuable items may be indications of financial exploitation.
Bedsores, poor hygiene, unsanitary living conditions, and unattended medical needs may be signs of neglect.
Failure to take necessary medicines, leaving a burning stove unattended, poor hygiene, confusion, unexplained weight loss, and dehydration may all be signs of neglect or self-neglect. The family of the elder may not even be aware self-neglect is occurring. It is our responsibility to place a hotline call when we suspect self-neglect is happening. ^5,8

Note: Those hired by family to be caregivers are not excluded as potential elder abusers. This can take form as all the types of abuse mentioned in the DV articles; BUT also includes steeling money, checks, using credit cards of the victim, taking items from the home for personal use or resale. The list is endless. Elder citizens are at high-risk to trust implicitly the caregivers if they are kind and attentive.

It is beyond the scope of this article to explore the vulnerability elders are susceptible to regarding in-person, phone and Internet scams. Families need to be extremely watchful of their elder parents’ purchases and interactions with businesses.

The church has the same moral and ethical responsibility to respond, teach, advocate for elders and work to end elder abuse; just as it does for any form of domestic violence. (See Part I article).

Remember, it is not your role to verify that abuse is occurring, only to alert others of your suspicions. Calls to Elder Abuse Hotlines are anonymous; they follow up with in-home visits to make assessments.

ELDER ABUSE REPORTING RESOURCES

Arizona Adult Protective Services (APS) is a program within the DES Division of Aging and Adult Services (DAAS) and is responsible for investigating allegations of abuse, exploitation and neglect of vulnerable adults.
Online: Adult Protective Services Registry | Arizona Department of Economic Security (az.gov) The online reporting form is available 24 hours a day, seven days a week.
By phone: 1-877-SOS-ADULT (1-877-767-2385) Monday – Friday, 7:00 a.m. – 7:00 p.m. Saturday, Sunday and state holidays: 10:00 a.m. – 6:00 p.m.

For life-threatening emergencies, call 911 immediately.

The AAPS also has a register offender’s list where you can determine if the person has been reported before regarding elder abuse.

(602) 674-4200 Hotline Elder Abuse AZ
(602) 264-4357 – Area Agency on Aging 24hr Helpline AZ
(844) 894-4735 or (602) 542-2124 Attorney General’s TASA Helpline AZ
(844) 894-4735 or (602) 542-2124 Attorney General’s TASA Helpline Financial Exploitation AZ
Eldercare Locator weekdays at 800-677-1116
National Adult Protective Services Association 202-370-6292 www.napsa-now.org
National Center on Elder Abuse 855-500-3537 (toll-free)

REFERENCES

¹ National Coalition Against Domestic Violence (NCADV, www,NADCV.org

² Arizona Coalition to End Sexual and Domestic Violence in Arizona (acesdv.org) ACESDV (website)

_³ Domestic Violence Services | Arizona Department of Economic Security (az.gov) (website)

⁴ How to help a victim of domestic violence | Extension | University of Nevada, Reno (unr.edu) (website)

⁵ www.medical-dictionary.thefreedictionary.com/elder+abuse

⁶ US Dept Health & Human Services www.hhs.gov/answers/programs-for-families-and-children/how-do-i-report-elder-abuse/index.html

7 https://elder-abuseca.com/stateResources/arizona.html AZ Elder Abuse

⁸ National Center on Elder Abuse https://ncea.acl.gov/

©Kay F. Klinkenborg, October, 2021
Spiritual Director
Retired RN, LMFT, Clinical Member AAMFT
Specialties: DV; PTSD; Incest Survivors/Sexual Assault; & Counseling Women
Consultants to IA, IL, KS, MO, NV, NM’s Coalitions Against Domestic Violence

Missing Sermons and Lessons: Part I of II “Why Shy and Silent About Domestic Violence?”

(This series is about adult with adult relationships)

by Kay Klinkenborg, Church of the Palms

October is Domestic Violence Awareness Month, a topic we seldom write about in our religious or spiritual articles. I was about 40 years old, married to an ordained minister and the first time in my life I heard a sermon from the pulpit on domestic violence in the home and relationships. It was delivered by my husband. It took another 10 years before I heard a second sermon from the pulpit on domestic violence DV.

The second sermon was preached by Dr. Roger Compton, pastor of Central Baptist Church in Springfield, IL. He preached a clear and definitive message on DV and the church’s Christian appropriate response to the victims, in our homes and culture. The next day, Monday, he was greeted at his office by 3+ deacons. “You have stepped over a line this time pastor. You have gone to meddling. We can’t have this taking place in our church.” I suspect that one or more of those deacons was guilty of emotional/and or physical abuse in their own marriages. Patriarchy controlling one more time what is permissible to preach about from the Bible.

There are numerous topics in the field of DV in which our congregations need education. In Part I, I will focus on what is DV? What are the statistics in the US and Arizona and some specific ethnic and racial data. That brings forth some key questions, what could we be doing in our churches to help end DV?

What does domestic violence look like? Legally, domestic violence is the willful intimidation, physical assault, battery, sexual assault, and/or other abusive behavior as part of a systematic pattern of power and control perpetrated by one intimate partner against another. It includes physical violence, sexual violence, threats, economic, and emotional/psychological abuse. The frequency and severity of domestic violence varies dramatically. ₁It is also called ‘intimate partner violence’ and is not exclusionary to legally defined marriage.

Domestic Violence (DV) cuts equally across all classes, incomes, social economic stratus in our culture. There is a supportive ‘old boy’s network’ that it is to be kept quiet and what happens in the home is of no concern of others. DV cuts across lesbian and gay relationships as well. We don’t preach the do and don’t of how to be in relationship with each other in healthy ways. We use the word ‘fighting’ when the truth is, couples need to learn how to have a healthy argument. The very word ‘fight’ assumes there is permission to get out of control…having power over someone else. Arguments are about hearing each other out. You might need space to think about what has been said. The ingredients of emotional abuse and threats of physical harm are not present in healthy disagreements.

An adult person has no permission nor right to physically harm another person. Legally we call that ‘assault’. So what has perpetrated that permission in the privacy of our homes. There are books, article, testimonies written about how institutionalized patriarchy gives males, or the dominant person in the relationship, permission to do as they please to get their way. Talk about not understanding the Golden Rule!

When working with couples where DV has just begun to be a pattern, I raise this question to the perpetrator: “Would you do that do you boss, your best friend, or in public?” That got some attention as to why would you use behavior in your home that is unlawful, physically hurts the other person, takes away their rights as humans? Truth is, few DV perpetrators come to therapy. A very small percentage do, if they find early in their relationship they have surprisingly crossed a line they thought they never would in hurting someone they claim to love.

In the United States, more than 10 million adults experience domestic violence annually.¹

Nationally: 1 in 4 women and 1 in 10 men experience sexual violence, physical violence and/or stalking by an intimate partner during their lifetime with ‘IPV-related impact’ such as being concerned for their safety, PTSD symptoms, injury, or needing victim services.² Approximately 1 in 5 female victims and 1 in 20 male victims need medical care.³

These numbers are startling! But Arizona’s statistics will make you gasp.

Arizona: 42.6% of Arizona women and 33.4% of Arizona men experience intimate partner physical violence, intimate partner sexual violence and/or intimate partner stalking.₄In any given room in Arizona with 50 people, there will be approximately 21 females who have had or are currently experiencing DV. 16.7 males would be victims of DV.

I share just two people of color DV statistics…for the list could go on and on. American Indian and Alaska Native women experience assault and domestic violence at much higher rates than women of any other ethnicity. Over 84% of Native women experience violence during their lifetimes. ⁵

45.1% of Black women and 40.1% of Black men have experienced intimate partner physical violence, intimate partner sexual violence and/or intimate partner stalking in their lifetimes. ⁶

We are a country with a shameful record of all types of violence. Our churches have been silent too long about DV specifically! If we are to be teaching Jesus’ message of love, justice and extravagant welcome…we need to educate congregations to this pandemic in intimate relationships. It also indicts us that we are not teaching concepts of healthy communications, managing intense emotions and fair arguing to our people. When are the open forums/classes that teach about DV? When is there a speaker’s panel on DV? We have no excuses: literature abounds on speaking theologically about DV.

James E. Wallis Jr. is an American theologian, writer, teacher and political activist. He is best known as the founder and editor of Sojourners magazine and founder of a Washington, DC church by the same name. In 2020, he challenged the ministers who subscribe to his magazine to send a sermon they had preached on DV; he was looking for 100 sermons to print. He received far more than anticipated. But he selected these: 100 Sermons on Violence | Sojourners.

I challenge each of us to click on this site and read at least one sermon about DV. The Bible is loaded with applicable stories to teach about DV.

An early book (1984) was written by Dr. Phyllis Trible, widely renowned feminist Biblical scholar and Hebrew scripture professor: Texts of Terror: Literary-Feminist Readings of Biblical Narratives (among numerous other publications). One of many books available to those teaching Bible stories or preaching.

There is not a lack of resources to address DV. It is the courage to name it, teach the healthy theology and began to shift the ‘shy silence code’ about DV in our churches.

Domestic violence needs to be spoken about. Addressed. And ended.

Part II of “Missing Sermons and Lessons” will be a 1) primer on what and what no to do when someone discloses DV to you; 2) an explanation of elder abuse, why seniors are at risk and safeguards to watch to prevent that prevalent form of DV.

¹ National Coalition Against Domestic Violence (NCADV, www,NADCV.org

² Smith, S.G., Zhang, X., Basile, K.C., Merrick, M.T., Wang, J., Kresnow, M. & Chen, J. (2018). The national intimate partner and sexual violence survey: 2015 data brief – updated release. Atlanta: National Center for Injury Prevention and Control, Centers for Disease Control and Prevention. Retrieved from https://www.cdc.gov/violenceprevention/pdf/2015data-brief508.pdf.

³ Smith, S.G., Chen, J., Basile, K.C., Gilbert, L.K., Merrick, M.T., Patel, N., Walling, M., & Jain, A. (2017). The national intimate partner and sexual violence survey (NISVS): 2010-2012 state report. Atlanta: National Center for Injury Prevention and Control, Centers for Disease Control and Prevention. Retrieved from https://www.cdc.gov/violenceprevention/pdf/NISVS-StateReportBook.pdf.

⁴ Arizona Coalition to End Sexual and Domestic Violence (2020). State of Arizona domestic violence related fatalities 2019. Retrieved from https://www.acesdv.org/fatality-reports/.

⁵ Smith, S.G., Chen, J., Basile, K.C., Gilbert, L.K., Merrick, M.T., Patel, N., Walling, M., & Jain, A. (2017). The national intimate partner and sexual violence survey (NISVS): 2010-2012 state report. Atlanta: National Center for Injury Prevention and Control, Centers for Disease Control and Prevention. Retrieved from https://www.cdc.gov/violenceprevention/pdf/NISVSStateReportBook.pdf

⁶ United States Department of Justice. (2000). Full Report of the Prevalence, Incidence, and Consequences of Violence Against Women. Retrieved from: https://www.ncjrs.gov/pdffiles1/nij/183781.pdf

©Kay F. Klinkenborg, October, 2021
Spiritual Director
Retired RN, LMFT, Clinical Member AAMFT
Specialties: DV; PTSD; Incest Survivors/Sexual Assault;
& Counseling Women. Consultants to IA, IL, KS, MO, NV, NM’s
Coalitions Against Domestic Violence

9/11 and COVID

by Dr. Kristina “Tina” Campbell

“We live in a city named after a great mythic bird who majestically rises with open wings out of a pile of smoldering ashes, and it is in this spirit of resilience that I record the religious community’s response to September 11, 2001. Ultimately, September 11^th will become a very personal experience for those of us who have conscious memory of an autumn day when acts of terrorism altered the course of human history and thought. Historians will tell of the events of the day, including the political, military, and economic climate. It is my desire to record the response of the faithful, much of which runs counter to the dominant cultural perspective. Throughout the ages, people of faith have raised a dissident voice, and it is this voice that is recorded in these pages.” This is the opening paragraph of a document entitled Out of the Ashes: The Faithful Respond to September 11, 2001, the result of a grant I received from the UCC National Office of Justice and Witness. I felt it important to create an historical document of the faithful’s response to this life altering event, and to take special care to record the response of the Southwest Conference of the United Church of Christ.

Bernice Powell Jackson, Executive Minister for Justice and Witness Ministries for the United Church of Christ reminded us, “In a sermon at the Riverside Church in New York City exactly one year before his assassination, Dr. Martin Luther King, Jr. said these prophetic words: We can no longer afford to worship the god of hate or bow before the altar of retaliation. The oceans of history are made turbulent by the ever-rising tides of hate…. If we do not want to act, we shall surely be dragged down the long, dark, and shameful corridors of time reserved for those who possess power without compassion, might without morality, and strength without sight.“

The United Church of Santa Fe borrowed words from the last homily of Archbishop Oscar Romero. These words were spoken the day before he was assassinated in San Salvador in 1980: “All that we are and all that we do is in God’s hands. What that means for us, my sisters and brothers, at this time is to pray very much, and to be very united with God.”

Edith Guffey, Associate General Minister of the United Church of Christ issued these words: “Although we are but one of the many expressions of who God is in our world, we are mindful of our call and our denomination’s rich heritage as peacemakers.”

Dr. John Herman preached at Desert Palm United Church of Christ in Tempe: “This is a dangerous time for our nation-not simply for us today, but for generations not even born. We need great wisdom to avoid precipitating a bloodbath that could undermine our own national principles of equality and justice and which could soil our name for all history. What we do need is authentic patriotism.”

The Reverend Ruthanne Cochran shares: “I have sadness within me for all the people whose lives are being changed, work destroyed, dreams shattered, and livelihoods uncertain. We work a lifetime to create reality out of our dreams, and for reasons beyond our control, the dreams are sometimes shattered. Whatever happens to the people in New York, Washington, and Pennsylvania, they cannot live in the ashes. They have to rebuild and re-dream, rekindle our ashes of what might have been. We have to rebuild, re-dream, rekindle our feelings and be open to God knocking at our hearts. We can’t sit around in the ash. We have to take some time to think about what has happened, and then we have to open our ears for another knock at our hearts. It shall come!!”

COVID has presented communities of faith with many of the same challenges as 9/11, and I feel it is important to record the faithful’s response during the pandemic. Our response will be measured far beyond the challenge of technology. Some questions that might be addressed are:

How did we extend pastoral care to the COVID First Responders?

How did we extend prayerful support to our local hospitals?

How did we provide comfort to those who lost loved ones during COVID and were unable to gather for memorial services?

How did our preaching address the fear of illness and death?

What specific programs did we create to address the needs created by COVID?

How do we move forward in hope?

Dr. Campbell, UCC clergy, served as Associate Staff for Social Concerns for the Southwest Conference of the United Church of Christ at the time of 9/11, and served as a Staff Chaplain at Phoenix Children’s Hospital throughout the COVID pandemic.