Southwest Conference Blog

Installation Sermon for Rev. Susan Valiquette

by Rev. Sue Joiner, Senior Minister, First Congregational United Church of Christ, Albuquerque, New Mexico

Installation Sermon for Susan Valiquette

November 7, 2021

John 12:1-8 and John 11:44

12 Six days before the Passover Jesus came to Bethany, the home of Lazarus, whom he had raised from the dead. ²There they gave a dinner for him. Martha served, and Lazarus was one of those at the table with him. ³Mary took a pound of costly perfume made of pure nard, anointed Jesus’ feet, and wiped them with her hair. The house was filled with the fragrance of the perfume. ⁴But Judas Iscariot, one of his disciples (the one who was about to betray him), said, ⁵“Why was this perfume not sold for three hundred denarii and the money given to the poor?” ⁶(He said this not because he cared about the poor, but because he was a thief; he kept the common purse and used to steal what was put into it.) ⁷Jesus said, “Leave her alone. She bought it so that she might keep it for the day of my burial. ⁸You always have the poor with you, but you do not always have me.”

We live our lives based on the stories we have been told and even more, the stories we tell ourselves over and over. I heard a story in college that continues to profoundly shape my theology. Wes Seeliger tells this story from his own childhood. It may or may not be a coincidence that the one who changes everything in this story is named Susan. Wes said,

“Grandmother’s living room was large and dark.  She kept the shades down so her furniture wouldn’t fade.  One day in 1943, when I was five years old, I sat in the middle of her living room floor playing with my toy cars.  I had at least a hundred; fire trucks, buses, tractors, everything – even a hearse.

‘For me, playing with cars was serious business and there was definitely a “right” way to do it.  The idea was to form a large circle of cars on the living room floor.  And the cars had to be evenly spaced.  Precision was of the essence. I placed my toy box in the middle of the floor.  Then, I took each car out of the box and began forming my circle.  I was very careful.  No two fire trucks could be together.  No two cars the same color could be together.  It was a tedious process, but I was a determined kid.

When the circle was complete, I sat in the middle and admired my cars and my handiwork.  And since my grandmother never used the living room, my circle remained intact for days.  I returned time and time again to look at my cars and to make minor aesthetic adjustments.

One morning I was sitting in the middle of my circle.  Peace and contentment bathed my five-year-old soul as I surveyed my almost perfect toy kingdom with everything in its proper order.

Then came Susan.  Susan was my 3-year-old cousin, and she was a live wire.  Susan took one look at my precious circle of toys and charged.  My precious, tranquil circle was destroyed in an instant.  She kicked and threw my cars all over the room.  She was laughing and squealing – I was crying and screaming.  Grandmother dashed in to see who was being murdered. Grandmother told me later than I cried for two hours, and she had to rock me to sleep that night.  How can you sleep when your world has been destroyed?

The next morning, I went into the living room to survey the damage.  I was about to begin the painful process of rebuilding when Grandmother told me that Susan was coming over, so I gave up in despair.  So, when my rambunctious little cousin arrived there was nothing to destroy.

I met Susan at the door to try and avoid additional damage. Susan suggested that we take the cars outside.  What an idea!  I hadn’t thought of that.  But what if they get dirty?  What if one gets lost or broken?  It wasn’t my idea of playing cars, but I gave in.  I decided to risk taking my cars outside.  No use trying to build a circle with Susan around. We played outside all day.  We put real dirt in the dump truck.  We made ramps, forts, and tunnels.  I even let Susan talk me into crashing the cars together.  I had no idea playing cars could be so much fun.’

A lot of water has gone under the bridge since that day in 1943.  I have listened to hundreds of sermons and Sunday school lessons.  I have read stacks of theology books.  And a seminary degree hangs on my wall.

But I think Susan taught me all I really need to know about theology – SIN (unfaith) is sitting in the middle of our homemade universe; FAITH – is the courage and freedom to leave the dark, musty, familiar, living room and take what we love most into the great outdoors.”

Susan, you know the literal truth of this story already. You find energy outside, and you make sure you get out as much as you can. It keeps you grounded, and I experience that when I hear you pray because I feel your connection to God. Is there something you love that you are called to carry into the great outdoors?

Let’s be honest. The world is not always open to Susans. Susans come along and question how things have been done. Susans may suggest an extravagant alternative and that can be a threat. At the same time, it can be so beautiful. It is 2021 and the world still isn’t sure what to do with women in leadership. What a gift that First Church has been open and welcoming and loving with you. It is important for all of us to embrace your unique ministry here.

No one knew what to do with Mary. She sat with Jesus instead of working in the kitchen. Here she takes very expensive perfume and pours it on Jesus’ feet. Note she doesn’t just use a drop or two, she empties the jar and then wipes his feet with her hair. Could she be any more embarrassing? Where is her sense of dignity? But Jesus saw her. He saw the ways she ministered from the depth of her being. She wasn’t trying to be someone else. She wasn’t trying to fit in to a mold that didn’t fit. In fact, she is used to criticism. She doesn’t let that stop her from ministering in the way that is authentically her.

My concern about the stories we tell ourselves is that those stories may be the ones that keep us from being who we are at any given time. Susan, God called you to ministry. Today you are installed at First Church, and you all say a wholehearted yes to each other. My hope is that this covenant you make with one another will allow you to be who are as you serve this congregation. By doing so, you may all be surprised by the joy you find when you take what you love most into the great outdoors.

I didn’t read the story from John that comes before Mary’s ministry to Jesus, but it is important. Mary and Martha’s brother has died. He has been in the tomb for four days and he smells. Jesus calls Lazarus out of the tomb and then he turns to the people gathered and gives them a simple instruction: “unbind him and let him go.” My friends, that is what we are here to do. My understanding is that you know this, First Church. You have a history of it. My prayer for you as a church is that these will be your guiding words in the days to come. Jesus did not turn to the ordained minister. He did not turn to the lay leader. He turned to the entire gathered community and called them to be the ones who would unbind Lazarus. It is what we do for each other. It is what we do for those who dare to walk through our doors or log on to see if they could possibly be welcome here because they have been told there is no place for them in God’s church. It is what we do for those who have sacrificed everything to step into this country, hoping to find freedom. It is what we do for those in recovery, for those who are housing insecure, for those who are struggling with mental health challenges.

If we are going to unbind them and let them go, it will take all of us. This is not a job for a few volunteers or committee chairs. It will require the whole community to listen to one another and care for one another. It will mean decisions that are difficult. It will mean loss and sacrifice. It will take us into places that are scary and unknown and sometimes places where it seems there is only death. It is into those very places that Jesus calls us to make room for life.

We are trying to be the church in difficult times. The pandemic has taken over five million lives. There have been more than 37,000 deaths to gun violence in the United States this year alone. Suicide is among the leading causes of death in our country. Our planet is dying before our own eyes. As we have made decisions over the last twenty months, we are not just talking about what we should do, we are asking “who could die if we do this?” Death is not hypothetical.

We worship a God who teaches us again and again that death is not the last word. People are dying around us. God is not shielding us from death, but rather calling us to be the ones who will “practice resurrection” to use Wendell Berry’s words.

God is at work in the world right now. God is breathing life into those places where this is no hope, where there is nothing but death. God is showing us a new way. As Kate Bowler says, “God can make things new with or without us. But God chooses to use us.” Be warned, we are going to be asked to get involved. God will remove the stones from places we believed were only death. Then we are called to step in and begin the process of unbinding.

Wes Seeliger didn’t experience deep joy until he risked losing his precious cars. Susan taught him that life is to be lived out in the world and that means things will get dirty and broken along the way. But she showed him to live fully.

Before he became a full-time poet, David Whyte tells about being stressed and feeling like he was in a dead-end. He met with Brother David Stendl-Rast and said, “Speak to me of exhaustion.”  [David Stendl-Rast] put his glass down for a moment and realized that David Whyte was absolutely exhausted.  David Stendl-Rast said, “You know, David, the antidote to exhaustion is not necessarily rest.”  And David Whyte repeated, “The antidote to exhaustion is not necessarily rest.  What is the antidote to exhaustion?”  He said, “The antidote to exhaustion is wholeheartedness.  This is the point where you have to take a full step into your métier (meh·tee·ay), into your future vocation, and wholeheartedly risk yourself in that world.” (https://gratefulness.org/dw-session-1-transcript/).

In 2017, we took Kadhim Albumohammed into Sanctuary at First Congregational, Albuquerque. We did this with the support of the Southwest Conference, Bill Lyons, Ken Heintzelman, and Brendan Mahoney who flew to Albuquerque to talk with us about the legal implications of this decision. Kadhim was from Iraq. He worked for the U.S. military to teach them language and culture with the promise that they would take care of him. Instead, he received a letter to report for deportation. To be deported was guaranteed torture and death. He had betrayed his country and he would pay for it if he was sent home. In November that year, the Native American youth from the Rehoboth School in Gallup came to sing for worship. Afterward, they asked to hear Kadhim’s story. He spoke with them and then they asked him to stand in the middle of the sanctuary. They formed a circle around him and sang the words, “We are not alone.” When I hear these words, I am reminded that in the most difficult situations, God is with us.

Susan, First Church friends, today you commit to ministry together and my prayer for all of you is to do so wholeheartedly, to ground yourself in a God who calls us to life and to know this work must be done together. God is with you. May you discover the fullness of God’s love as you practice resurrection in the days to come.

Wilderness

by Rev. Deb Worley

“Behold, I am doing a new thing;
now it springs forth, do you not perceive it?
I will make a way in the wilderness
and rivers in the desert.”

(Isaiah 43:19, ESV)

“Wilderness,” as we all know, can mean different things to different people. Heck, it can even mean different things to the same person, at different times in their life. Wilderness is not a one-size-fits-all endeavor.

Sometimes wilderness might look like unexpected suffering, or soul-wrenching depression, or uncontrollable chaos. Or mental illness. Or cancer. Or a global pandemic. Sometimes wilderness might be found in the midst of profound grief, or deep weariness, or ongoing uncertainty. Or too many responsibilities. Or too few resources. Or not enough young families.

Sometimes wilderness might be individual; sometimes, communal. At times, it might be blessedly short-lived; at other times, seemingly and agonizingly unending.

Wilderness means different things to different people.

As people of faith, we are not exempt from experiences of wilderness in our lives, whether as individuals or as the Body of Christ. We are promised, however, that we will not go through them alone. We are promised that God will be with us.

And not only that–if we are to take Isaiah at his word, we are promised that God “will make a way in the wilderness,” that God will lead us through it, that God will open a path where it had seemed to us there was no path. We are promised that God will be with us in and through and out of the wilderness, to the other side, where “rivers in the desert” await, where there will be healing and wholeness, abundance and life.

We can’t know for sure what that path will look like, or how long it will be, or how many twists and turns and hairpin curves and hills and valleys we will pass through along the way. Nor can we know with certainty when we will step out of the wilderness and find ourselves at the edge of the river, dipping our toes in the water and inhaling deeply and recognizing that we have moved into a place of healing and abundance.

But we can be sure that we will. We can be sure that we will!

Thanks be to God for the promise of new things, new paths, new life…that come after seasons of wilderness.

Peace be with us all.

Deb

Thanking the Pandemic Preachers

by Dr. Kristina “Tina” Campbell

In many recovery communities, you hear the phrase “walk the talk,” illuminating the importance of impersonating, rather than pontificating, the guts of the ethical backbone of the program. In religious circles, the same message is expressed: “Preach the Gospel always. Use words only when necessary.”

In my day-to-day life, there have been many profound preachers during the seemingly endless months of COVID isolation.

Colleen is the woman at Fry’s who stands on her feet for hours on the unforgiving concrete floors to carefully check out our groceries. She never complains when I ask for paper bags, even though it requires her to bend over to fetch them. Colleen is well beyond retirement age and yet continues to be of essential service providing food to the huddled masses, embodying the words, “whoever comes to me will not be hungry.”

A beloved friend goes to a Veterans Lodge where dead deer heads peer blankly from the walls, and she quietly donates blood. She doesn’t have a good word to say about organized religion, but faithfully shows up at the neighborhood Presbyterian Church Tuesdays at ten to silently sort through giant bags of donated clothes that will end up on the backs of frightened refugees stuck at the border. Maybe she somehow heard the communion words of blood being shed and bodies being clothed. She doesn’t say. She just shows up.

Every morning at 5 a.m. someone flings my newspaper to various locations on my driveway and in my plants. During the isolation of the pandemic, the paper became my morning coffee companion. Oddly, I especially enjoy reading the obituaries, because I like to see what brought joy to the life of the dearly departed. Behold, an angel has been sent before me, and she is flinging the news.

The Post Office stayed open during the pandemic, and countless carriers delivered the mail. Sometimes there were cards and letters delivered that offered a sense of connection, encouragement, or support. On Fridays, my postal delivery people allow me to sneak under their chained barrier while they are still stuffing boxes, because they know I am eager to retrieve my People magazine. These faithful workers are kin to the Biblical bearers of glad tidings.

COVID has been a long haul at my hospital. I observe the Starbucks stand where weary parents, paper-gowned medical staff and observant security staff line up to order the outrageously over-priced weirdly named drinks. Throughout COVID, underpaid staff kept this place of rare delight open, offering a small diversion from the intensity of illness and death. They are the magi offering their gifts.

At this time of Thanksgiving, let us lift up these silent preachers who are walking the daily walk. Let us proclaim our gratitude to them for the contribution they make to our lives. A simple “thank you” can mean so much, and its absence can leave a wound.

THANK YOU TO ALL OF THOSE WHO SILENTLY AND FAITHFULLY PROCLAIM THAT, EVEN IN THE MIDST OF A PANDEMIC, THERE IS GOOD NEWS. PLEASE ACCEPT OUR HEARTFELT GRATITUDE. THANK YOU.

Relational Ways of Being the Church for Post-Pandemic Times

by Rev. Kari Collins

Many of our local churches are weary. Many are struggling. We have long treated our local churches like transactions. How many members do we have? How many are in attendance each Sunday. Are all of the vacancies filled on our committees and ministries? How many children and youth do we have? How much is our budget? And we’ve limited our ministry by saying, “We’ve never done it that way,” or its corollary, “We’ve always done it this way.” But transactions are numbers, and the truth is, those numbers have been in decline for many of our churches for decades.

And then the pandemic hit. Our in-person church stopped. Our society stopped. Our entire world stopped. And while many of our churches were able to pivot to online methods of worship and ministry, pandemic fatigue is real for so many of us!

In a recent article titled, “They’re Not Coming Back,” Reverend Rob Dyer contends that even as we slowly reopen our churches, people are not coming back to the church, at least not at the same level of engagement as before…. nor will they. We have all been traumatized by this pandemic.

So what do we do? How do we, our churches, reintroduce ourselves as a place that can tend to the wounds that this pandemic has opened in all of us?

I believe we have a choice. We can continue to be transactional churches and see our numbers decline, now even more precipitously post-pandemic than before.

Or, we can see this post-pandemic time as an opportunity to operate differently as church, an opportunity to transform lives in new ways.

And it is in this opportunity that I find hope. This will require innovative change. And, to be honest, we don’t know what these changes might look like. And this is where God comes in.

Each and every one of us has gifts for ministry. If we work to develop and deepen our relationships with one another, we can seek to understand the life experiences and beliefs that shape who we are and how we are each Called to share our gifts and talents in the world. And we need to deepen our relationships with intention. Now I’m not talking about joining more committees or ministries, where we have meetings to attend and tasks to be done. Rather, I’m inviting us to be in intentional one-to-one relational conversations with each other, during which we listen for and draw out the Spirit abiding in one another. It was during an intentional one-to-one relational conversation that I began to discern my Call to parish ministry, as my conversation partner shared his stories about the justice work that he had done in the local church setting.

And we have the opportunity to have one-to-one relational conversations with those who can’t or don’t or won’t come to a church building on Sunday mornings, and to listen for where Spirit abides in them. What they are longing for? And how can we, as church, partner with them to follow Jesus in new ways, ways that aren’t limited to bringing people into a church building on Sunday mornings?

When we shift our churches from being transactional to being relational, Spirit can be at work. And when we let Spirit work, we can develop partners in ministry to help us to truly live the prophetic and revolutionary teachings of Jesus, to find new ways to be the hands and feet of Jesus in our community and in our world. The pandemic has given us the opportunity to grab onto change.

Reverend Dyer concludes his article by saying, “The need for a major pivot is before us, and we know that God will provide for the times and places where we are found. Therefore, let us walk into this valley with eyes wide open, ready to step forward with intention, believing in the presence of the Good Shepherd, the proximity of green pastures, the provided meal amongst adversity, the anointing of our heads, the overflowing of our cups, and our place in the House of the Lord forever.”

Let us follow the prophetic and revolutionary teachings of Jesus together, in deep relationship with one another, listening for where Spirit is alive in each and every one of us, and seeing in what new ways God is Calling us to Be the Church.

Rev. Kari Collins (she/her/hers)

Vice Moderator, Casas Adobes UCC, Tucson, AZ
Minister of Stewardship and Philanthropy, Sixth Avenue UCC, Denver, CO
Consultant to churches in the Rocky Mountain Conference UCC on ways to shift from a culture of scarcity in our churches to an expectation of abundance, inviting people to invest in ministry that transforms lives.

Missing Sermons and Lessons: Part II

A: When Domestic Violence Is Revealed—DOs and DON’Ts

B: Elder Abuse: Be Informed and Resources

by Kay Klinkenborg, Church of the Palms UCC

A: WHEN DOMESTIC VIOLENCE IS REVEALED…DO’S AND DON’Ts

There are some key truths and safety strategies to know when a situation of domestic violence (DV) is revealed; safety for the victim and you.

TRUTHS:

Victims suffer multiple types of abuse with varying levels of severity, the overwhelming constant is that abusers will use whatever means available to control a victim.
First and foremost, if a violent act is occurring or imminent, call 911 to get immediate help.
Leaving a violent situation is the most dangerous time for a victim.
There may be children in the home that the victim has to protect as well as themselves. Don’t believe that an abuser ‘would never hurt the children’.
The abuser will lie to get what they want; the married abuser will use the contract as a religious commitment for permission to take over the situation. Truth is: the abuser broke the marriage contract with the first behaviors of emotional, physical, manipulation or sexual abuse.
If the victim comes to your home or work place, do not disclose to the abuser where victim (h/she) is or where you live. Never reveal the location of a safe house or domestic violence shelter to a victim’s partner/spouse, or abuser’s family members.
Be patient with the victim as they make plans to leave, if they do. Victims leave on an average of 7+ times before they finally leave the abuser. The fear a victim feels for their very life is real. Do not drop support from victim should they return to the abuser. Remember, leaving an abuser is a frightening experience and their life is in danger. ^1,2,3,6,8

FIRST PRIORITY SAFETY STRATEGIES:

Listen without judgment; keep comments non-judgmental.
Refrain from telling a victim what to do; no one knows the abuser better than the victim.
Remind the victim that s/he does not deserve the abuse; nor have they done something wrong to provoke it.
Offer to help victim contact DV hotline or advocate at a shelter to obtain information; if you give them a written phone number or shelter address, instruct them to keep in their shoe underneath the sole where the abuser cannot find it or a similarly discreet hiding place; not their phone.
You could offer to drive them to the shelter or police station.
Make a safety plan: the most effective trained people to help the victim make a safety plan is the DV hotline worker, or shelter staff. You can support the victim in the steps they chose to work on that plan.
If immediate safety is needed, a shelter is the best place for victim. ^1,2,3,6,7,8

SECOND LEVEL SAFETY STRATEGIES

Learn about the dynamics of DV from reputable DV intervention or prevention programs
Accompany victim to court to obtain a protective order
Help build community awareness of domestic violence
Make your own list of supportive community resources ^2,3,7,8

DOMESTIC VIOLENCE PHONE RESOURCES ^2,3,7

National: 1-800-799-SAFE (7233) can give phone info for any state

Maricopa County, AZ only Shelter Line: 480-890-3039

Arizona: 24-hour Domestic Violence Hotline: 800-799-7233 800-787-3224 (TTD)

AZ Coalition to End Sexual and Domestic Violence: 602-279-2900 800-782-6400 602-279-7270

Domestic Violence Program Information: 602-542-4446

Sexual Assault Hotline RAINN 800-656-HOPE (4673)

B: ELDER ABUSE: BE INFORMED and RESOURCES

Over 500,000 people 60 years of age and older are abused or neglected each year in the United States. It was also found that four times as many incidents of abuse or neglect are never reported, causing researches to estimate that as many as 2 million elderly persons in the United States are abused each year. In 90% of the cases, the abusers were found to be family members and most often were adult children or spouses of those abused. In addition, equal numbers of men and women have been identified as the abusers. However, women, especially those over 80 years of age, tend to be victimized more than men. ^5,8

The National Center on Elder Abuse identifies the following as signs of elder abuse:

Bruises, pressure marks, broken bones, abrasions, and burns may indicate physical abuse or neglect.
Unexplained withdrawal from normal activities and unusual depression may be indicators of emotional abuse.
Bruises around the breasts or genital area, as well as unexplained bleeding around the genital area, may be signs of sexual abuse.
Large withdrawals of money from an elder’s bank account, sudden changes in a will, and the sudden disappearance of valuable items may be indications of financial exploitation.
Bedsores, poor hygiene, unsanitary living conditions, and unattended medical needs may be signs of neglect.
Failure to take necessary medicines, leaving a burning stove unattended, poor hygiene, confusion, unexplained weight loss, and dehydration may all be signs of neglect or self-neglect. The family of the elder may not even be aware self-neglect is occurring. It is our responsibility to place a hotline call when we suspect self-neglect is happening. ^5,8

Note: Those hired by family to be caregivers are not excluded as potential elder abusers. This can take form as all the types of abuse mentioned in the DV articles; BUT also includes steeling money, checks, using credit cards of the victim, taking items from the home for personal use or resale. The list is endless. Elder citizens are at high-risk to trust implicitly the caregivers if they are kind and attentive.

It is beyond the scope of this article to explore the vulnerability elders are susceptible to regarding in-person, phone and Internet scams. Families need to be extremely watchful of their elder parents’ purchases and interactions with businesses.

The church has the same moral and ethical responsibility to respond, teach, advocate for elders and work to end elder abuse; just as it does for any form of domestic violence. (See Part I article).

Remember, it is not your role to verify that abuse is occurring, only to alert others of your suspicions. Calls to Elder Abuse Hotlines are anonymous; they follow up with in-home visits to make assessments.

ELDER ABUSE REPORTING RESOURCES

Arizona Adult Protective Services (APS) is a program within the DES Division of Aging and Adult Services (DAAS) and is responsible for investigating allegations of abuse, exploitation and neglect of vulnerable adults.
Online: Adult Protective Services Registry | Arizona Department of Economic Security (az.gov) The online reporting form is available 24 hours a day, seven days a week.
By phone: 1-877-SOS-ADULT (1-877-767-2385) Monday – Friday, 7:00 a.m. – 7:00 p.m. Saturday, Sunday and state holidays: 10:00 a.m. – 6:00 p.m.

For life-threatening emergencies, call 911 immediately.

The AAPS also has a register offender’s list where you can determine if the person has been reported before regarding elder abuse.

(602) 674-4200 Hotline Elder Abuse AZ
(602) 264-4357 – Area Agency on Aging 24hr Helpline AZ
(844) 894-4735 or (602) 542-2124 Attorney General’s TASA Helpline AZ
(844) 894-4735 or (602) 542-2124 Attorney General’s TASA Helpline Financial Exploitation AZ
Eldercare Locator weekdays at 800-677-1116
National Adult Protective Services Association 202-370-6292 www.napsa-now.org
National Center on Elder Abuse 855-500-3537 (toll-free)

REFERENCES

¹ National Coalition Against Domestic Violence (NCADV, www,NADCV.org

² Arizona Coalition to End Sexual and Domestic Violence in Arizona (acesdv.org) ACESDV (website)

_³ Domestic Violence Services | Arizona Department of Economic Security (az.gov) (website)

⁴ How to help a victim of domestic violence | Extension | University of Nevada, Reno (unr.edu) (website)

⁵ www.medical-dictionary.thefreedictionary.com/elder+abuse

⁶ US Dept Health & Human Services www.hhs.gov/answers/programs-for-families-and-children/how-do-i-report-elder-abuse/index.html

7 https://elder-abuseca.com/stateResources/arizona.html AZ Elder Abuse

⁸ National Center on Elder Abuse https://ncea.acl.gov/

©Kay F. Klinkenborg, October, 2021
Spiritual Director
Retired RN, LMFT, Clinical Member AAMFT
Specialties: DV; PTSD; Incest Survivors/Sexual Assault; & Counseling Women
Consultants to IA, IL, KS, MO, NV, NM’s Coalitions Against Domestic Violence

Ron and Stacey

by Rev. Dr. Kristina “Tina” Campbell

My friend, Ron, registers people to vote in Arizona. He approaches this patriotic task with humility and a sense of determination. The ravages of COVID did not deter him from making sure that people were equipped to exercise their fundamental American right to have a voice. Ron registers people to vote.

Ron’s efforts won both my respect and admiration, and prompted me to recall that when I was a child my family would make a ritual of the act of casting one’s vote. My parents, my brother, and I would dress up and walk to the polling place with the same reverence one might approach an altar for holy communion. My brother and I would stand outside of the booth as my parents pulled the curtain to cast their votes.

Politics were part of my family history. My grandfather and most of my paternal uncles were in the state legislature, and at the time of my birth, my father served as Secretary of State of Iowa. Voting was considered part of living, part of being part of a community, part of being a citizen.

However, not everyone in our country has always been afforded the opportunity to vote, and some have been prevented from voting by unfair laws and unjust interference. Some people need an advocate like Ron to assist them in casting their vote.

Last night I went to see Stacey Abrams at the Mesa Arts Center. Stacey is big on voting. Stacey is also a woman after my own heart. She has lived life on a broad canvas, dipping her toe into everything from acting to writing romance novels to running for public office. She has won elections, and she has lost elections, but she keeps going with justice as her north star.

Instead of adopting a defeatist attitude in our current social and political climate, Stacey challenges us to imagine we can do something, to try to fix things, to do the work. She challenges us to focus on what we can do, and to write it down. Stacey learned early on in her career that she was going to lose at times, and this keeps her centered in a forward momentum.

Stacey would applaud the efforts of my friend, Ron, and says that voting is a continuum of people knowing their rights, being registered and educated, and then becoming part of a coalition where they are repeatedly reminded of the process. People need to hear the message “You matter and we want to hear your voice.” At times Stacey becomes theological, and suggests we need to build relationships by doing for others what we would want them to do for us.

Stacey warns us that the biggest myth is that the political system is magic, and with a poof can fix our societal woes. She suggests that politics is more like medicine. We have social diseases, and voting is our medicine. The medicine does not always cure, but can stave off the symptoms, and provide containment. Stacey advises us to temper our expectations, and realize that we are not always going to get a neurosurgeon. Progress is never permanent, and people who disagree with us will always win elections. Stacey keeps her own equilibrium by voracious reading and watching lots of tv. She feels no guilt about her pleasures!

I am grateful to my friend Ron who quietly performs what I consider to be a profound ministry. As he registers people to vote, I surround him with light and utter many prayers on his behalf. He equips people to exclaim “I get to have a say in who we become.” Many thanks to Ron and Stacey for encouraging us to claim our voice.

Missing Sermons and Lessons: Part I of II “Why Shy and Silent About Domestic Violence?”

(This series is about adult with adult relationships)

by Kay Klinkenborg, Church of the Palms

October is Domestic Violence Awareness Month, a topic we seldom write about in our religious or spiritual articles. I was about 40 years old, married to an ordained minister and the first time in my life I heard a sermon from the pulpit on domestic violence in the home and relationships. It was delivered by my husband. It took another 10 years before I heard a second sermon from the pulpit on domestic violence DV.

The second sermon was preached by Dr. Roger Compton, pastor of Central Baptist Church in Springfield, IL. He preached a clear and definitive message on DV and the church’s Christian appropriate response to the victims, in our homes and culture. The next day, Monday, he was greeted at his office by 3+ deacons. “You have stepped over a line this time pastor. You have gone to meddling. We can’t have this taking place in our church.” I suspect that one or more of those deacons was guilty of emotional/and or physical abuse in their own marriages. Patriarchy controlling one more time what is permissible to preach about from the Bible.

There are numerous topics in the field of DV in which our congregations need education. In Part I, I will focus on what is DV? What are the statistics in the US and Arizona and some specific ethnic and racial data. That brings forth some key questions, what could we be doing in our churches to help end DV?

What does domestic violence look like? Legally, domestic violence is the willful intimidation, physical assault, battery, sexual assault, and/or other abusive behavior as part of a systematic pattern of power and control perpetrated by one intimate partner against another. It includes physical violence, sexual violence, threats, economic, and emotional/psychological abuse. The frequency and severity of domestic violence varies dramatically. ₁It is also called ‘intimate partner violence’ and is not exclusionary to legally defined marriage.

Domestic Violence (DV) cuts equally across all classes, incomes, social economic stratus in our culture. There is a supportive ‘old boy’s network’ that it is to be kept quiet and what happens in the home is of no concern of others. DV cuts across lesbian and gay relationships as well. We don’t preach the do and don’t of how to be in relationship with each other in healthy ways. We use the word ‘fighting’ when the truth is, couples need to learn how to have a healthy argument. The very word ‘fight’ assumes there is permission to get out of control…having power over someone else. Arguments are about hearing each other out. You might need space to think about what has been said. The ingredients of emotional abuse and threats of physical harm are not present in healthy disagreements.

An adult person has no permission nor right to physically harm another person. Legally we call that ‘assault’. So what has perpetrated that permission in the privacy of our homes. There are books, article, testimonies written about how institutionalized patriarchy gives males, or the dominant person in the relationship, permission to do as they please to get their way. Talk about not understanding the Golden Rule!

When working with couples where DV has just begun to be a pattern, I raise this question to the perpetrator: “Would you do that do you boss, your best friend, or in public?” That got some attention as to why would you use behavior in your home that is unlawful, physically hurts the other person, takes away their rights as humans? Truth is, few DV perpetrators come to therapy. A very small percentage do, if they find early in their relationship they have surprisingly crossed a line they thought they never would in hurting someone they claim to love.

In the United States, more than 10 million adults experience domestic violence annually.¹

Nationally: 1 in 4 women and 1 in 10 men experience sexual violence, physical violence and/or stalking by an intimate partner during their lifetime with ‘IPV-related impact’ such as being concerned for their safety, PTSD symptoms, injury, or needing victim services.² Approximately 1 in 5 female victims and 1 in 20 male victims need medical care.³

These numbers are startling! But Arizona’s statistics will make you gasp.

Arizona: 42.6% of Arizona women and 33.4% of Arizona men experience intimate partner physical violence, intimate partner sexual violence and/or intimate partner stalking.₄In any given room in Arizona with 50 people, there will be approximately 21 females who have had or are currently experiencing DV. 16.7 males would be victims of DV.

I share just two people of color DV statistics…for the list could go on and on. American Indian and Alaska Native women experience assault and domestic violence at much higher rates than women of any other ethnicity. Over 84% of Native women experience violence during their lifetimes. ⁵

45.1% of Black women and 40.1% of Black men have experienced intimate partner physical violence, intimate partner sexual violence and/or intimate partner stalking in their lifetimes. ⁶

We are a country with a shameful record of all types of violence. Our churches have been silent too long about DV specifically! If we are to be teaching Jesus’ message of love, justice and extravagant welcome…we need to educate congregations to this pandemic in intimate relationships. It also indicts us that we are not teaching concepts of healthy communications, managing intense emotions and fair arguing to our people. When are the open forums/classes that teach about DV? When is there a speaker’s panel on DV? We have no excuses: literature abounds on speaking theologically about DV.

James E. Wallis Jr. is an American theologian, writer, teacher and political activist. He is best known as the founder and editor of Sojourners magazine and founder of a Washington, DC church by the same name. In 2020, he challenged the ministers who subscribe to his magazine to send a sermon they had preached on DV; he was looking for 100 sermons to print. He received far more than anticipated. But he selected these: 100 Sermons on Violence | Sojourners.

I challenge each of us to click on this site and read at least one sermon about DV. The Bible is loaded with applicable stories to teach about DV.

An early book (1984) was written by Dr. Phyllis Trible, widely renowned feminist Biblical scholar and Hebrew scripture professor: Texts of Terror: Literary-Feminist Readings of Biblical Narratives (among numerous other publications). One of many books available to those teaching Bible stories or preaching.

There is not a lack of resources to address DV. It is the courage to name it, teach the healthy theology and began to shift the ‘shy silence code’ about DV in our churches.

Domestic violence needs to be spoken about. Addressed. And ended.

Part II of “Missing Sermons and Lessons” will be a 1) primer on what and what no to do when someone discloses DV to you; 2) an explanation of elder abuse, why seniors are at risk and safeguards to watch to prevent that prevalent form of DV.

¹ National Coalition Against Domestic Violence (NCADV, www,NADCV.org

² Smith, S.G., Zhang, X., Basile, K.C., Merrick, M.T., Wang, J., Kresnow, M. & Chen, J. (2018). The national intimate partner and sexual violence survey: 2015 data brief – updated release. Atlanta: National Center for Injury Prevention and Control, Centers for Disease Control and Prevention. Retrieved from https://www.cdc.gov/violenceprevention/pdf/2015data-brief508.pdf.

³ Smith, S.G., Chen, J., Basile, K.C., Gilbert, L.K., Merrick, M.T., Patel, N., Walling, M., & Jain, A. (2017). The national intimate partner and sexual violence survey (NISVS): 2010-2012 state report. Atlanta: National Center for Injury Prevention and Control, Centers for Disease Control and Prevention. Retrieved from https://www.cdc.gov/violenceprevention/pdf/NISVS-StateReportBook.pdf.

⁴ Arizona Coalition to End Sexual and Domestic Violence (2020). State of Arizona domestic violence related fatalities 2019. Retrieved from https://www.acesdv.org/fatality-reports/.

⁵ Smith, S.G., Chen, J., Basile, K.C., Gilbert, L.K., Merrick, M.T., Patel, N., Walling, M., & Jain, A. (2017). The national intimate partner and sexual violence survey (NISVS): 2010-2012 state report. Atlanta: National Center for Injury Prevention and Control, Centers for Disease Control and Prevention. Retrieved from https://www.cdc.gov/violenceprevention/pdf/NISVSStateReportBook.pdf

⁶ United States Department of Justice. (2000). Full Report of the Prevalence, Incidence, and Consequences of Violence Against Women. Retrieved from: https://www.ncjrs.gov/pdffiles1/nij/183781.pdf

©Kay F. Klinkenborg, October, 2021
Spiritual Director
Retired RN, LMFT, Clinical Member AAMFT
Specialties: DV; PTSD; Incest Survivors/Sexual Assault;
& Counseling Women. Consultants to IA, IL, KS, MO, NV, NM’s
Coalitions Against Domestic Violence

To Tell the Truth

It’s More Than Just a Game Show

by Rev. Dave Klingensmith, Church of the Palms UCC

I have always enjoyed the game show “To Tell the Truth.” I’ve seen it through several different versions, even was at a taping in NYC once. It has always been fun for me to try to decide, along with the panelists, who is really the one contestant sworn to tell the truth.

Most of us learned from a young age that it was important to tell the truth. Those who raised us drilled it into us. “Don’t lie, tell the truth.” We may have learned it in Sunday School. The Ninth Commandment specifically forbids lying in terms of bearing false witness or what is called perjury today. And though we may have been told that a “little white lie” is sometimes OK, almost all cultures and religions discourage lying of any sort.

But while we are often quick to tell someone else to “tell the truth,” we often don’t like to hear the truth, or face the truth, about ourselves or someone else. Some time ago I discovered in doing some genealogy research that my paternal great-grandfather had committed suicide in the early 1900’s when some investments went bad. It was shocking and surprising. Often families don’t want to face the truth when this happens. People often don’t want to face the truth that a family member is LGBT, or that someone has a mental illness. These days using Ancestry.com or other websites, sometimes people may discover that they have siblings they never knew they had, or even that they may not be the race or nationality they thought they were. Doing other historical research might lead us to discover that our families owned slaves or took land from indigenous people.

It can be hard to face up to this. We may want to brush it under the rug, to tell ourselves “That was a long time ago.” But by doing so we deny ourselves a significant, if challenging, part of our history. To acknowledge it may result in significant growth and even healing for us, and for the descendants of those who were wronged.

Likewise, the information we learned in school about our nation’s history may not always have been totally truthful. I learned about the Japanese attack on Pearl Harbor but didn’t learn until much later how we put Japanese-American U.S. citizens in internment camps. We learned about the Civil War and slavery, but textbooks downplayed the cruelty inflicted on slaves, and how our entire society capitalized on the backs of people who were bought and sold. We have often glossed over how even Christian missionaries treated Native Americans as “savages.”

Telling the truth about our nation’s history, especially in regard to racial issues, is important. The term “Critical Race Theory” is an explosive one right now. I would argue for a different term – Critical Race History – or even just Telling the Truth About Our History. When we do not acknowledge painful or troubling events or try to say they have no relevance today, we are denying the humanity of someone’s great-great grandparent who was a slave. We may have to tell the truth, that someone we may have admired was really a brutal plantation owner or a ship owner who transported slaves from Africa.

When school districts, or states, maybe even religious groups, try to deny painful parts of our history, we all lose. We lose the opportunity to acknowledge the truth, to admit our complicity in that history, and to see how we can do something today to atone for the past.

We can tell the truth about our history so that injustices don’t happen again. If we don’t tell the truth and acknowledge injustices, we can expect to repeat them.

“You have set my feet in a broad place.”

by Rev. Deb Worley

“I will exult and rejoice in your steadfast love, because you have seen my affliction; you have taken heed of my adversities, and have not delivered me into the hand of my enemy; you have set my feet in a broad place.”

(Psalm 31:7-8, NRSV)

God sees David’s afflictions. God knows what things are causing David pain and heartache and anxiety. God is aware of David’s challenges and struggles, and can name his fears and his foes.

With gentleness and tenderness and compassion, God holds all that causes David to shrink and shrivel and clench and constrict.

With power and strength and courage, God holds all that leads David to feel less than and “bound up” and, somehow, diminished….

David knows that God sees and understands and contains all of that…and still, has not turned David over to any of those things.

David knows that God is bigger and stronger and truer than any of those things, and in knowing that, in trusting in that, in claiming that, he knows that he will not be “delivered into,” not be given over, not be consumed by any of those things.

God will win. God has won. David knows this, and claims this….and can then breathe again.

“You have set my feet in a broad place.”

Ahhhh….there is un-shrinking, and un-shriveling, and un-clenching, and un-constricting as David breathes….

“You have set my feet in a broad place.”

Ahhhh…there is a letting go of less-than-ness, a loosening of bound-up-ness, a releasing of the feeling of being diminished…..

“You have set my feet in a broad place.”

Ahhhh…there is a standing tall, an unassuming strength, a quiet courage, with room to breathe…because David knows that God knows, that God sees, that God holds…and that God loves. And David can breathe. And exult. And rejoice. And breathe.

And that makes all the difference.

God, I want to be like David….
Amen.

Can spirituality or religion decrease or even prevent depression?

by Kay Klinkenborg, Church of the Palms UCC; Spiritual Director; Retired: RN, LMFT, Clinical Member AAMFT

A burst of joy went off inside me as I read of research by Dr. Lisa Miller, PhD that has clinical documentation revealing depression is avoided and certainly significantly reduced in persons that recorded a high connection to religion and/or spirituality.¹ I had a hunch that was true. Each of us has had a thrilling moment when we read something that ‘jibes with what we thought but we couldn’t prove it.’ I anticipate that is what your reaction will be to this essay about depression/ religion/spirituality. Dr. Miller has just published her book: The Awakened Brain: The New Science of Spirituality and Our Quest for an Inspired Life. She is a practicing psychologist and faculty at Columbia University.

The fields of psychology and psychiatry have been hesitant to do research to determine if there was a correlation between depression and personal connection to religion or spirituality. Some of that stems from the long history that science and religion have no connection in many academic fields of study. Another factor of resistance comes from the hesitation to know the truth. What if is true there is a correlation? “But I don’t want to be a religious/spiritual person. That doesn’t fit with how I see the world, or even might not believe in a creator.” Attached to that are topics beyond this essay as to what defines spirituality and what defines religion. And ‘religion as a formal place to worship’ or ‘belonging to a denomination’ is not in those definitions.

I add a statement of medical reality before you read further. There are mental health diagnoses that are beyond the scope of this article; and there are diagnoses of chemical imbalances, etc. Miller is talking about widespread depression that many around the world experience. I will comment more later.

In 2012, Dr. Miller approached the idea to colleagues on an upcoming research project about depression: “I’d be very surprised if we find any kind of association between spirituality and depression, but we shall see,” (senior MRI colleague in charge of the research).¹ Contemporary psychotherapy tended to characterize spirituality and religion as a crutch or defense, a set of comforting beliefs to lean on in hard times.^1,2

Miller’s team had used colleague Myrna’s multigenerational sample of clinically depressed and non-depressed women, and their children and grandchildren. We’d taken MRI scans of people at high and low genetic risk for depression to see if there were any patterns among the brain structures of depressed and non-depressed participants that could allow us to develop more targeted and effective treatments.¹

They asked all participants to respond to a major question used in the clinical science literature to quantify inner life: How personally important is religion or spirituality to you? ^1,2

THE RESULTS of MRI BRAIN SCANS: “On the top half of the page was a black rectangle with two brain images inside. The scan on the left showed the composite brain image of participants with low spirituality—those who had reported that religion or spirituality was of medium, mild, or low importance. The scan on the right showed the composite brain of participants with sustained, high spirituality—those who had said religion or spirituality was of high personal importance.

The brain on the left—the low-spiritual brain—was flecked intermittently with tiny red patches. But the brain on the right—the brain showing the neural structure of people with stable and high spirituality—had huge swaths of red, at least five times the size of the small flecks in the other scan. The finding was so clear and stunning, it stopped my breath. The high-spiritual brain was healthier and more robust than the low-spiritual brain. And the high-spiritual brain was thicker and stronger in exactly the same regions that weaken and wither in depressed brains.”¹

Spirituality appeared to protect against mental suffering.^1,2

“The MRI findings marked a pivotal moment on the way to my breakthrough discovery that each of us has an awakened brain. Each of us is endowed with a natural capacity to perceive a greater reality and consciously connect to the life force that moves in, through, and around us. Whether or not we participate in a spiritual practice or adhere to a faith tradition, whether or not we identify as religious or spiritual, our brain has a natural inclination toward and docking station for spiritual awareness. The awakened brain is the neural circuitry that allows us to see the world more fully and thus enhance our individual, societal, and global well-being.”^1,2

I interpret Miller’s findings as supporting that God has created us with a phenomenal capacity to have an awakened brain. How do we feed that possibility? In raising children, what needs to be a focus on their learning and exposure to keep that part of the brain and alive and curious? There is “a God within us” and it is alive and active. What a celebration to have science document something that is thousands of years old, known by mystics, orally told through the ages!

The awakened brain offers more than a model for psychological health.^1,2

Through many examples in her book, Miller documents that when we have a moderate to high connection to spirituality/ religion: “we awaken, we feel more fulfilled and at home in the world, and we build relationships and make decisions from a wider view. We cultivate a way of being built on a core awareness of love, interconnection, and the guidance and surprise of life.”¹

“I’ve discovered that the awakened brain is both inherent to our physiology and invaluable to our health and functioning. The awakened brain includes a set of innate perceptual capacities that exist in every person through which we experience love and connection, unity, and a sense of guidance from and dialogue with life. And when we engage these perceptual capacities—when we make full use of how we’re built—our brains become structurally healthier and better connected, and we access unsurpassed psychological benefits: less depression, anxiety, and substance abuse; and more positive psychological traits such as grit, resilience, optimism, tenacity, and creativity.”¹

I hear your appropriate questions: “But I have physiological depression, a chemical imbalance in my body” or “I had a stroke and after that I have lived with depression, never had it before, but now it’s a constant companion” or “after heart surgery I was blue and never been like that before in my life.” Where do I fit in this study?

Part of the answer is that medical/physiological depression is a different experience than situational or stress-induced depression. There is no guarantee that any of us will go throughout our entire life and not experience one or more bouts of depression, of varying degrees. Life is more complex than to say: “if you are highly spiritual and religious you won’t have depression.” What the study does show is that the correlation of those who ranked a high importance of spirituality and/or religion in their life, had far less experiences of deep depression or persistent depression. It is about learning to honor the ‘lure to spirituality/ religion’ and reinforcing an active healthy mental and spiritual life. Miller in her book goes into chapters of detail through memoir notes and case studies that prove what the research found on the MRI brain scans plays out as true in real life: a moderate to high connection to spirituality/religion is a powerful tool to a healthy balance in our lives; we can develop skill sets that help us be resilient, compassionate and live full lives.

¹Miller, Lisa (2021). “Can a Commitment to Religion or Spirituality Help Ward Off Depression’s Debilitating Hold?” Lit Hub on line e-letter, August 19, 2021.

²Miller, Lisa (2021). The Awakened Brain: The New Science of Spirituality and Our Quest for an Inspired Life. Random House, New York.